Monday, February 27, 2006

Obvious Doesn't Mean Easy

We had to put DaintyKitty down the Friday before we left for Disneyland last November. (Did I tell you this already?) It was an obvious decision - she had cancer in her gut somewhere; it was going to cost thousands of dollars to find it, and more to treat it, and then she'd still only have a year or so to live - most of which would have been spent at the pet hospital.

I took a night to think about it. DaintyKitty spent the evening sitting on my chest in her "loaf" position, and looking at me like "Just do it, Mommy. I hurt, and I'm tired, and it will be ok."

So the next afternoon, my dad and I took her in and said goodbye. I was brave - I don't think I cried there. We even went down the street afterwards to GI Joes and bought a travel bag for the Disneyland trip, and it was like everything was normal.

Truth is - it was totally the right decision. She was 17; she was really old. It was time.

And yet on this past Saturday, FuzzySlug was crying because she was "lost" in our bedroom, and I kept calling and calling her, and she didn't come.

And then Critter said, "Uh, you're calling for DaintyKitty..."

Oh. Oops.

So right decision or not, it still hurts. And sometimes, unexpectedly, I miss her something awful. Obvious doesn't mean easy.