On The Twelfth Day Of Christmas

...we got more snow.

Or at least it seemed that way. As Inigo Montoya said, "There is too much. Let me sum up." CrafterKat and I braved the snow for snacks at Trader Joes. We then stocked up for the winter storm the weekend before Christmas. We made $100 chili. Eventually. The power went out. And then we got stuck in the snow. Critter tried to meet up with her friends, to no avail.

By Monday, after several hours of digging out driveways, we measured and had well over a foot of snow in the yard. Attempts to drive out in the Mazda were entertaining at best. One short trip to Fred Meyers had us completing a 180 spin into the oncoming traffic. We made it home with only slightly upset stomachs--the roads were so rutted with snow and ice it was like riding an old wooden roller coaster with very little padding on the seats.

Tuesday, Mr. GoGoGo, LaLa, and the Queen Matriarch arrived. And got stuck in the same spot on the driveway we did. A couple of good pushes and they were able to pull in to our garage. We spent Tuesday and Wednesday shoveling more snow out from the driveway and listening to branches crack under the weight of the snow.

The Renaissance Man, Golden Poet, and their two boys came over for dinner. In honor of the Jedi Racoon's tenth birthday, we had Dominos pizza and played Apples To Apples. One of the funniest exchanges occurred when the Jedi Raccoon was judging. He had the word "cuddly" and wasn't sure who/what were on the other cards. It was his job to choose which of the other cards played was closest to "cuddly".

Jedi Raccoon: Well, what's Flipper?

Renaissance Man: Well, he was a famous dolphin or porpoise.

Jedi Raccoon: How are dolphins cuddly?

Renaissance Man: Well, he was a big TV star a long time ago. I used to watch that show and Big Ben when I was a kid.

Golden Poet: Really? Big Ben? In London?

JewelGeek: Gong! Gong! What's that Big Ben? You say little Timmy has fallen down the well?

Flipper didn't make the cut...

For Santa's visit, I made CrafterKat's new favorite cookie--Chocolate Peppermint Crisps. The big man liked them. So did everyone else!

Chocolate Peppermint Crisps

1 c. butter-flavored shortening (I used Crisco's new butter shortening)

1/2 c. sugar

1/2 c. brown sugar

2 eggs

1 pkg (12 oz.) of York Peppermint Patties

1 t. vanilla

2 - 1/3 c. flour

1 t. soda

1/2 t. salt

On low heat, melt the peppermint patties. Stir occasionally. It will be a gooey mess! If you made $100 chili, use one of your new non-stick skillets!

Cream together the shortening and sugars. Add the the eggs, soda, and salt. Sift the flour and add it to mixture. Add the melted peppermint patties until well-combined. The dough should be rather buttery and will stick together well. Put the dough in the fridge for at least 30 minutes.

Heat oven to 375 degrees. Roll dough into one inch balls and place on cookie sheet. Bake 8-10 minutes. Cookies will spread and be quite thin. Remove them from the sheet when they are still a bit bendy--they will crisp up in the next five minutes. If you like chewy cookies (like me!), eat them right after they get out of the oven; otherwise they will remain crispy and are good dunked in coffee or milk.

We considered having Christmas dinner on our deck but in the end we begged a ride from the Renaissance Man who was able to maneuver the side streets much better than we were in the old Mazda. We had a lovely Christmas dinner complete with pie and too much laughter.

Saturday after Christmas enough snow had melted that we were able to assess the damage. Tree limbs were down in several yards or were bent back at impossible angles.

We discovered that a light had been left on in the Tink Tank--our mini van's battery was dead. The car tent it was housed in had collapsed under the weight of snow and ice, denting the mini van's hood.

It's now New Year's... We figure we had at least thirteen inches of snow and ice Christmas week.

Winter Break is over and school is supposed to start on Monday. I hope it does... We've got another inch of snow on the ground this evening...

With all the running back and forth, not knowing if the snow will stop or get worse, it's been a bit like The Coats' version of the Twelve Days of Christmas. Enjoy!

Editors Note - 1-5-09: We really enjoy The Coats and the video below doesn't quite do them justice. If you have a chance, visit their site and listen to some of their Christmas songs (30 sec. snippets).

Critter just stopped by to watch the rest of The Coats video and said, "What? You didn't do Straight No Chaser's version?" I've added that video clip, too.

There’s One Born Every Minute

After our brief respite at the hotel, we dug out the car in the parking lot (another 4 inches) and made our way back home. We got 20 feet from the garage door before one of the tire chains spun off. Despite the earnest assistance of Critter and JewelGeek, I admitted defeat and called Renaissance Man to rescue me. With his experience, it took about 15 minutes to put on the errant chain and drive in to the garage.

So now it is Tuesday. Mr. GoGoGo and Lala are braving the roads and coming up from Eugene (finally) for Christmas. I promised them I’d dig a better path in the driveway for them. When I got out there, I found this.


Our neighbors, for whatever reason, decided to try and drive out last evening, and got stopped by the 18+ inches of snow and ice in the driveway. Oh, and they don’t have chains on the car. Nevermind that chains are required on all streets in the area. I’ve dug all around the car, and sprinkled sand. Will finish digging up to the street after a quick break. Then I’m going to call my brother to come help, and go wake up the neighbors to get the blockade cleared out.

I swear, snow brings out the idiots.

$100 Chili Pow(d)er

"What are you doing up?"

CrafterKat caught me tearing open the remaining grocery bags at 3 a.m. I had just found the Winco receipt and flashed it at her. "I didn't buy the red beans for chili. I'm pretty sure the bag fell out of the cart before I reached the cashier."

"It's okay. I have some other errands. We'll go in the morning before the storm really hits."

The snow continued to fall Friday night; Saturday we woke at 7:00 a.m. and ventured out to get some final items. Fred's had a bag of red beans, Lowe's had the Styrofoam faucet covers but no Christmas lights, and K-Mart had...well, all the things we forgot at the other stores.

"Wait... I need to make Santa cookies... I don't think we have enough flour." I bought one of five bags of K-Mart flour.

"Wait," said CrafterKat, "I want to make s'mores." I picked up The Bag of Marshmallows. And a box of graham crackers.

We made it home by lunch and settled down for a long snowfall. I made $100 chili.

$100 Chili

Ingredients:

2-3 cups dry red beans

2-5 slices of bacon, diced

1 onion, diced

1 lb. ground beef

1 can tomatoes, diced

1/4 to 1/2 t. of cayenne pepper (how spicy do you want it?)

1/2 to 1 t. of chili powder (you choose the spicy level!)

Salt and pepper to taste

Optional: A new $100 pot and pan set

Prep: Rinse the dry beans in a colander and set to soak in a large pot with about two inches of water. Let the beans soak for 2 to 3 hours. Drain the water from the beans, then add fresh water. This gets rid of some of the starch from the beans.

Put the beans (with fresh water) on to boil. Then reduce heat to low.

In a pan, brown the diced bacon (I used four slices--yummy!). Use a slotted spoon and scoop out the bacon; add it to the bean pot.

With the remaining bacon grease, brown the diced onion. Use a slotted spoon to scoop out the onion bits; add it to the bean pot.

Brown the hamburger in the last of the bacon grease, drain it, and add to the bean pot.

Add the can of tomatoes, the cayenne pepper, chili powder and salt and pepper. Cook the chili for 1 to 2 hours or until you are too hungry to wait any longer!

Saturday and Sunday we kept tabs on how deep the snow was getting. Four inches, six inches... It was soon over a foot on our back deck.

I called my mother Sunday afternoon to fill her in. Yes, we are still alive. Yes, I made chili. No, I don't think I'll go in to work tomorrow. Yes, we have plenty of groceries. No, I don't think we'll have garbage service. Yes--

And then the power went out.

After a half hour, the power did not return. PGE reported that there were several thousand customers without power and they had no idea of when service would resume.

We bundled up and hopped in the old Mazda and drove 5-10 mph down to the Shari's restaurant for a warm meal. When we returned, the power was still out. A call to PGE told us that "power has been restored at 5:44 p.m."

Since this was obviously not the case we called around and found a hotel along the river that was open and, more importantly, still had power. "And if the power goes out," the manager said, "we've got lots of blankets, flashlights and glow sticks. I'll be here all night with our staff--we'll probably have a party in the lobby."

CrafterKat began packing suitcases while I reserved the room. As we maneuvered through the icy roads, we passed a downed power line a block from our home. An hour later we had parked in the hotel's snow-filled lot and found our room. Thirty minutes later, CrafterKat and Critter were soaking in the hot tub.

Chili Weekend

We've had snow off and on (mostly on) for a week now. Monday was especially chilly when we woke--our heating system was on the fritz. CrafterKat had been up since 5:30 and the house seemed to get colder by minute. She woke me at 7:00--the house was 59 degrees.

The pilot light seemed to be working but the clear water condensate tube that ran from the heating unit along the wall and to the outside was clogged up--it had frozen solid outside the house. CrafterKat got an extension cord and her little heat gun--a mini hairdryer used for embossing--and warmed up the tube until the water started flowing again. The house finally got up to temperature around 10:00 a.m.

When I woke on Friday there was a note from CrafterKat asking me to head to the grocery store. "We're expecting near blizzard conditions," she wrote. Time to make grocery lists, figure out advanced food cravings, and stock up.

The snow had turned to slush by the time Critter and I hit the road at lunch time. Winco was packed--Critter and I methodically went through the list, loading the grocery cart with crackers, cheese, soups, cereal, bulk red beans for chili, bacon, chicken, yogurt... The cart was so full we could barely push it to the checkout line.

CrafterKat got home a few hours later. I spent the afternoon cooking the last of our Craft Party cookies. "Let's go get some dinner before we're snowed in," CrafterKat suggested. We took a bag of cookies to her brother's house on our way. Instead of pizza (our original plan) we joined them for dinner at Busters and caught up on the news. The Golden Poet shared her cookie baking stories--green Grinch cookies!--and The Renaissance Man shared his adventure cleaning out the dryer vent. The boys shared various tales of how bored they were; Critter agreed.

After dinner we dropped Critter back at the house and went out again for some final shopping, dodging snow flakes right and left. I explained to CrafterKat that I intended to make my Mom's chili for lunch on Saturday, pulled pork sandwiches in the slow cooker for Monday when her parents arrived for Christmas, and lasagna somewhere in between. CrafterKat frowned slightly. "You're not planning on making chili in one of my good pots are you?"

We have only two large pots. Large and EXTRA HUMONGOUS LARGE, purchased at one of those fancy cooking stores at the outlet mall. "Fine. Let's go to Linens and Things after we go to [store redacted in case my mother is reading this]. They're going out of business so we can probably find something there for cheap."

CrafterKat stayed in the car while I scouted the store. I found one pot with a strainer, took a pic of it with my cell phone, and sent it to her. She texted back: I come in. We poked around some more and decided upon a pot and pan set, marked down to $100.

"You know," I chuckled, "this will be like the Evil PXE's bread maker. He had a $100 bread maker which they never used. Six months later he was handing out $30 loaves of bread because he had used it so few times."

CrafterKat chuckled. "One hundred dollar chili!"

We made one final stop at Trader Joe's and called it a night. The snow was starting to fall pretty steadily by now and we were happy to be home.

At 3:00 a.m. I woke up with a start. I did not recall paying for the bag of red chili beans; they'd fallen out of the cart before I reached the cashier.

Merry Christmas To All

O Christmas Tree, O Christmas Tree,
How Lovely Are Thy Baubles

We wish you a most joyoux Christmas filled with much love, rich laughter, and free of furry Ornament Stalkers.

~CrafterKat, JewelGeek, and Critter

Mother's Day Jasmine

CrafterKat and I had a lovely Mother’s Day Weekend, complete with good food, shoe shopping, and the arrival of a new compound miter saw thingy.

Saturday afternoon Critter had us sit in the living room and close our eyes. When we were told to open them, she stood with paper in hand, partially blocking two vases of spring flowers. I smiled at her thoughtfulness. And she read:

As you may already know, Mizz K. has a snake named Jasmine. Her roommate doesn’t particularly care for snakes and she doesn’t know what to do with jasmine over the summer. Now I know what you’re thinking, “she’s going to ask if she can bring it home for the summer,” and you’re correct!

Having this privilege will give me more responsibility and respect for other people’s property. As well as help me keep my room cleaner!

Some downers about this thought is the fact that JewelGeek may not really like this idea and I can totally see that. Also we will have to have live mice in the house which is another thing for the cats to try to get at. And when I’m gone camping and on vacation with you guys I’ll worry and fret about her and carry on and we possibly may not have a good time.

But please remember I have a friend who lives just up the street and loves reptiles!!!! Cheri knows her way around the house and how to get into the house too!

Now about the food for Jasmine, Mizz K. said she would provide the money for live mice. I can keep them in a well secured cage so they will never be able to get out and we will never smell them because I can clean mouse and rat cages ever so quickly.

So now I hope I have persuaded you to let me take care of Mizz K.’s snake over the summer. Thank you for your time and ears. Any questions I can answer???

Yes. Just one.

Aaaaaaaakkkkkk! Snaaaaaaakkeeeee???!!!!!

New Year Frog?

On New Year's Eve, Critter and I had to run a few errands. On our long, winding way back home she said, "Be Your Fish."

"Be Your Fish?" I glanced at her and then at the car in front of me and understood.*

She nodded. "You know... Instead of Be Your Self, Be Your Fish."

My mind raced for a rebuttal. "Butter Your Flies."

She wrinkled her nose. "Ewwwww. I'm not a frog!"

I prefer her New Year's resolution. Being a geek though, I had to find out what kind of fish I would be this year (I went here). Unfortunately, my rebuttal is closer to the truth.

What kind of aquarium fish are you? Booger the Frog You are an energetic clown. You charm all with your humor and cute face. You're not the sharpest fish of the flock but we all sure love you!

Click Here to Take This Quiz Brought to you by YouThink.com quizzes and personality tests.

* We often play the License Plate Game, taking the letters off of car plates and making a simple phrase out of it. The car in front of us on this trip had the letters BYF.

These Potatoes Are So Creamy

As Critter has grown into our family, our holiday traditions have also expanded. One of them is to watch "While You Were Sleeping," one of my favorite romantic movies which occurs over Christmas. Another is all the eating and partying...

We had our first party celebrating the Jedi Racoon's birthday. Even Lumpy joined the festivities.

We had fun playing. CrafterKat picked up Jedi tips from the Master himself.

And Critter got some toddler time with her newest cousin.

We debated the Seven Wonders of the World.

And played lots of card games.

But the tradition which I didn't think would happen, has. Last year, on Christmas Eve, Critter left a note. This year, I made sure to do it right. I made pumpkin cookies; she set up the tray with carrots and left a new note.* And Santa was one happy elf.

* The note reads:

Dear Santa,

Hope you like the cookies! They're pumpkin and JewelGeek made them special. They taste really good with milk so I put that out too! Please give the extra long carrot to Rudolph. Say hi to Comet for me as well as Chet!

--Critter

Holiday Catch-up And A Bit Of Mustard

The Christmas holiday usually lasts about two weeks with our families. One weekend or so with my mother, the Social Butterfly (minus any dire Kringle emergencies), and another with CrafterKat’s family. Then we tend to celebrate New Years for another week or until the leftovers are gone.

We began the holidays with a festive start, Critter’s first choir concert.

Then hung up more lights on the new deck.


Evil PXE brought his kids to work as their daycare center was closed for the winter storm we had. His littlest attempted to fix a keyboard with a monster truck.


And the mustard? Well, in case there was a power outage we were prepared...

...with Critter and her glowing mouth toy…

You('re) Better You('re) Better You Bet

It’s been a pretty busy holiday break for us—lots of family get togethers and lots of stomach flu. Because nothing says Happy New Year like multiple trips to the bathroom.

Critter was the latest to get ill (unlucky number 7 in the immediate family) and has been home from school for the last two days. She’s back on solid food and beginning to go a little stir crazy. I drove her to get a burger at McMennamins when The Who came pouring over the radio. I sang the chorus. Badly.

When I say I love you, you say you better
You better you better you bet

“You know,” says Critter, “it should be better than sliced pickles.”

“What?”

“That saying… ‘Better than sliced bread.’ It should be ‘better than sliced pickles’.”

“Oh? Why’s that?”

“Because I really like pickles.” Yes, Critter’s definitely feeling better.

Christmas Kringle

Last May or June, the Evil PXE (pronounced Pixie) attended the last campus administrative meeting before everyone went on summer holidays. It's a time for all entities on our campus to let the other administrators know about upcoming projects and concerns that might affect other departments. He returned to our tiny office bearing two small paper plates with a frosted pastry on each. "I thought you might want to try this. One of the other managers made it."

My eyes lit up at the sight and I almost burst into tears. "You brought me Kringle?"

He shrugged. "Yeah, I guess so. Do you want some?"

I gushed. "You brought me Kringle! My Mom only makes this at Christmas! I can't believe you brought me Kringle! Do you know how tough this is to make? Well, not really tough, just time-consuming compared to how quickly it gets eaten."

Last weekend we drove down to Eugene to spend Christmas with my Mom, the Social Butterfly. She called Mr. GoGoGo's house where we were staying, in a panic. "I can't find the Kringle recipe."

"But I rewrote it for you last Christmas when you made it," I continued, trying to keep my breathing regular.

"I've looked in the recipe box. It's not there. Don't you have a copy of it?"

At home, yes. "But I re-wrote it. On one of those new recipe cards CrafterKat made. The same time I did the Peanut Butter Fudge card."

"OOOOooooh! Then it's in the other recipe box. The one I don't use."

I exhaled slowly, relieved.

Christmas with my Mom was wonderful. And the Kringle one of the best ever. Even if I did forget to write down how much flour went into the pastry filling...

Christmas Kringle

Step I: Pie Dough

1 c. flour
1/3 c. butter
2 T. water

Mix the above ingredients like pie dough and then separate into two equal sections. Smooth each pile of dough into a long strip about three inches wide on a cookie sheet.

Step 2: Pastry Filling

1 c. water
1/2 c. butter
1. c. flour
3 eggs
1 T. almond flavoring

Bring the water and butter to boil. As you take from heat, add all of the flour at one time. Beat until smooth. Add one egg at a one time. Beat until smooth. Add the almond flavoring and beat until smooth again. Pile the filling onto the two pie dough strips, about one inch thick.

Bake in a 375 degree oven for 45-50 minutes.

Step 3: Frosting

1 c. powdered sugar
1 T. milk
1 T. butter
1 T. almond flavoring

Sliced almonds (traditional but optional)

Mix up the frosting ingredients and frost the Kringle pastry while it is still warm. Sprinkle with the sliced almonds.

Step 4: Aftermath

Eat. Go back for seconds. Then thirds. Wonder why Kringle is all gone.

Holly, Merry Times

It's been a little over a week since our state had A Perfect Storm, according to the weather reporters. Lots of rain, high winds, and power outages throughout the metro area. In fact our long-term summer intern, Princeton (now home for the Christmas holiday break), informed us that it took five days to restore power to his house. Critter had a second choir concert that evening over at the high school and had dressed up for the event only to have the concert cancelled a half-hour before she needed to be there.

The radio and TV began reporting power outages and highway closures due to fallen trees and car accidents. The rest of the evening CrafterKat and I finished up our holiday decorating. It was a But First evening.

First we had to separate out the boxes that we weren't going to use.
Then pile the boxes that needed to go upstairs.
Then climb into the attic and re-organize the boxes so the Christmas boxes are on the west side.
Only to discover the plywood panels hadn't been replaced after the kitchen wiring was done.
Redistribute the pink insulation into each bay.
Then push boxes out of the way to grab the plywood panels.
Wedge plywood panels into place and discover that one doesn't fit that spot.
Find an electrical outlet for the drill.
Pray that the power doesn't go out.
Perform acrobatic maneuvers to drill the plywood in without falling through the drywall into the kitchen below.
Perform human chain to carry boxes up the stairs and into a spot on the west side of the house.

We all clambered down and got into pajamas. CrafterKat, now coming down with a cold, scooped up her sleep gear to recover in the Craft Room. Critter brushed her teeth and began singing Christmas songs, "Have a holly, merry Christmas..."

CrafterKat stopped on the stairs. "Holly, jolly Christmas," she corrected.

Critter gave an annoyed sigh and almost stamped her foot in frustration. "If the English can say 'Happy Christmas' then I can say 'Holly, Merry Christmas'! It's just wrong!"

We chuckled, said our goodnights, and went to bed. Five minutes later the lights went out, the power returning a few short minutes later. Critter was back at my door the instant the lights returned. "The lights went out."

"Yes, but the power came back on." The Fuzzy Slug settled down across my legs, oblivious to the outage. I continued in a calm, unconcerned manner, "It may go out again, or it may not."

Critter remained in the hallway, unconvinced.

I chuckled to myself. "Do you want to sleep with me?"

"YES!" She grabbed her quilt, pillow and stuffie and leapt into bed, wrapping herself up in the blankets. I wished her goodnight after she was settled. "Goodnight, JewelGeek. And thanks for the Slumber Party!"

Clarence, you been rehearsin' real hard to get a new saxophone?

The day after Thanksgiving, we all piled into the Tink Tank for leftovers at Mr. GoGoGo's house. CrafterKat pulled out of my Mom's driveway, turned on the radio and tee-hee'd. Christmas music poured forth from the Eugene radio station.

"I found the one station here that is playing Christmas music all the time." She laughed again.

I sighed comically just as Bruce Springsteen's Santa Claus is Coming To Town came on. "So, this is the first of 300 times I'll hear this song this season." I sighed again, resigned.

For the record, I don't mind Christmas songs. Nor am I anti-Bruce (well, maybe a bit but mostly because the radio stations overplayed him so much in the 80's). I do, however, get ticked off with the repetition of the same songs every season.

Alas, my prediction is not proving true this year. It's the 14th of December and I've only heard Bruce's version of this classic three times.

Instead, every station seems to be playing the Snoopy/Red Baron song and the one about getting a hippopotomous for Christmas. Once or twice is fine--they are cute--but come on! Not every day!

Sigh.

I'm now half-expecting to see a hippo in my garage on Christmas Day.

After all, there's lots of room for him in our two-car garage
I'd feed him there and wash him there and give him his massage.

Well, Merry Christmas mein friend!

House of Cards, Part 2

Note: House of Cards, Part 1 can be found here.

It’s been a little over a week since the new carpet has been installed in our home. Here’s what happened:

Friday, November 17
CrafterKat posts sofa, two chairs, and rocker on Craigslist at 9:15 p.m.
Phone rings non-stop beginning at 9:16 p.m. until we disconnect it at 10:00 p.m.
Furniture is brought upstairs and stored in Critter’s room.
JewelGeek sustains Craigslist injury moving overstuffed chair—bangs wrist against doorknob. Lovely bruise is just now fading…

Saturday, November 18
JewelGeek bakes cookies beginning at 6:00 a.m.
First Craigslist reader from Washington state shows at 7:00 a.m. to pick up furniture.
JewelGeek bakes cookies.
Second Craigslist reader shows up to claim remaining items.
We marvel at how empty living room is without comfy furniture.
JewelGeek bakes cookies.
CrafterKat brings up crafting supplies.
Cleaning. Baking. Cleaning. Prepping for party.

Sunday, November 19
JewelGeek bakes cookies.
Final cleaning and prepping for party.
Annual Craft Party!

Monday, November 20
Extra cookies taken to work.
We marvel at how empty the house looks without furniture.

Tuesday, November 21
Pack for Thanksgiving vacation.
Scritch kitties.
Dream of new furniture and carpet.

November 22-25
Thanksgiving in Eugene.
Eat too much food.
Play card games.
Scritch the Captain’s dog. Scritch the Egyptian Queen.

Sunday, November 26
Dismantle computers.
Move majority of furniture into dining room.
Take crafting party supplies downstairs.
Unpack, clean, recover from Thanksgiving.

November 27-29
Watch kitties race across open living space, devoid of furniture
Sit on wooden chairs in middle of living room, meals balanced precariously on laps.
Give up on eating while sitting on wooden chairs. Go to restaurants or get take out to eat in bedroom.
Move large oak bookshelf into kitchen, slightly blocking the refrigerator.

Thursday, November 30
CrafterKat stays home, feeling poorly.

Jewelgeek greets Homer who has come to install the carpet and the vinyl floor for the bathroom. JewelGeek states that the vinyl is for the landing where he is standing and tells him it should match the vinyl located in the kitchen.
JewelGeek checks the van and is assured that it is the correct carpet and vinyl.
Kitties locked in master bedroom with CrafterKat.

JewelGeek visits eye doctor at 9:45 and learns she needs new glasses.
Optometrist assistant urges JewelGeek to buy thick plastic frames popular in the 80’s.
JewelGeek declines and orders pair that is the same model she currently wears.
JewelGeek returns home to mariachi music playing on portable radio for the contractors.
The carpet is mostly laid out.
JewelGeek checks on CrafterKat’s health and invites her to lunch.

Shatter.

Homer and his crew break the sidelight window next to the front door with their equipment.
We fetch heavy plastic from the summer remodel and tape up both windows, inside and out, in case the glass explodes.
We attempt to exit the garage through the car port doors only to find them blocked with rolls of 20-year old carpet. Exit through garage back door.
Back Tink Tank out and around two contractor vans to go to lunch.
Visit to Lowe’s after lunch to inquire about putting in new sidelights.

Returned to find first layer of smoothing agent on the front landing for the vinyl. Have to step on dry areas to get up the stairs.
Living and hallway areas are carpeted.
We retreat to master bedroom to wait for vinyl to be finished.
Critter returns home from school.

Second layer of drying agent on landing is not dry. Fetch heaters and crafting heat guns to dry the landing (it’s about 30 degrees outside).
Notice carpet installers are huddled around gas fireplace trying to get warm.
Circuit for heaters and crafting heat guns blows.

Notice carpet is not wall to wall in the living room as per our specs. Homer’s crew had carpeted to where the old fireplace mantel sat. This carpet was supposed to be one large piece from the fireplace all the way down to the end of the hallway.
Homer says he can melt the pieces of carpet back together and refinishes the living room.

Mariachi music doesn’t help the vinyl sealant dry faster.

Remind Homer’s crew to install the metal bars between the carpet and the existing vinyl (holds the carpet down and provides a threshold as you enter the kitchen).

Critter and JewelGeek sneak out for hamburgers and milkshakes from Mike’s by crawling over the living room furniture blocking the rear door to the deck.
Dinner was scarfed in the master bedroom as we waited for the vinyl sealant to dry.

Noticed that the carpet was laid over the wooden threshold to the master bedroom so we have two different colored carpets meeting about three inches inside the bedroom door.
Crew replaces molding on landing with regular nails instead of finishing nails and have nailed over the tape we used to keep the plastic from flapping away.
Crew leaves house at 7:00 p.m.

Move stereo stand into living room, under window.
Slide TV off of stand and onto wooden chest.
Attach wheels to TV stand and, eventually, lift TV back onto stand.

Check for hernias.
Family retires to bed, exhausted.

Friday, December 1
Recover.

Saturday, December 2
CrafterKat leaves for mandatory training at her office.

JewelGeek takes down the old light in the hallway.
Confirmation phone call with the Renaissance Man about electrical wires.
Critter helps install new light purchased at Lowe’s.
Circuit blows.

JewelGeek drives to Home Depot.

JewelGeek figures out that both the red and the black wires are live. Returns home to install the new light fixture the same way the old one was installed.
New hall light is beautiful. No circuit is blown.

JewelGeek carves carpet away from floor outlet so cover can replaced.
Critter replaces heat vent covers with new ones.
JewelGeek and Critter move oak bookcase back.

Lunch is scarfed.

Critter vacuums. Sort of.
JewelGeek empties clogged vacuum tube filled with five years of kitty fur. Vacuum works beautifully.

Cherry bookcase is unearthed from dining room clutter and moved back.
Critter and JewelGeek watch Christmas movies until furniture shows up.

Furniture arrives at 3:30 p.m.
JewelGeek and Critter test the furniture, exhausted. It’s been two full weeks since we’ve had a sofa and chair.

Desks are brought back into the living room.
Computer is set up. Friday, December 8
JewelGeek's blood pressure is considerably lower and can now write this blog entry.

House Of Cards

It’s been just over a week since we have had computer access at home. And quite a bit has changed in our Rose City castle. We left for Eugene the Wednesday before Thanksgiving for lots of good food, stories, more good food, and card games.

A typical Thanksgiving conversation at Mr. GoGoGo’s house:

Critter: (perusing her cribbage cards) I need help with this hand.
CrafterKat: You can figure it out on your own. That’s how you learn.
Critter: But I don’t know what to put into the kitty. Grandpaaaaaa!
JewelGeek: Sweetie, try and figure it out yourself.
Critter: Arrrrgggggghhhh!
CrafterKat and JewelGeek: One Eyed Pete! *

We ate far too much turkey, raved about the seafood The Captain brought up from Gold Beach, and helped (?) Chef Flip Flop prep for his cooking test on sauces. Cooking school is serious stuff—he had over 50 sauces to learn that weekend. “My teacher is going to give me a meat and say, ‘Cook this pork with a such-and-such sauce. You have to use this starch for the base and you have one hour and ten minutes. Go!’” No pressure…

Our food bliss ended Saturday with one final leftovers lunch. CrafterKat had a friend from the Seattle area stop by on their way home. She and her husband had been with vegetarian in-laws, dining on tofu turkey and nut stuffing. Their Thanksgiving dinnercan be summed up thusly: “No meat should squeak in your mouth.”

The rest of the weekend was spent preparing the house for the carpet installation on Thursday. Which meant we had to move everything back into the kitchen, an interesting jigsaw puzzle.















But a puzzle which The Little Man enjoyed immensely. The ceiling fan is soooo much easier to play with when you can stand on the television!



* The name we have given Critter's Pirate Cow

Pink Lady

Grease is the word. Except on October 31.

Happy Halloween, everyone.

Asbestos, Hugs and Yucks

For Valentine’s Day I gave CrafterKat an asbestos-free living room. I think it is far more romantic than a circular saw.

We locked the cats in two bedrooms and the team of men plastered our walls with two layers of plastic to contain the asbestos which they shaved off the ceiling. By noon the room was completely bare, only the first layer of plastic remained with a fierce warning:


Made me shiver every time I came upstairs to check on the progress.

That evening, CrafterKat was craving a good steak. We took Critter with us to High Rocks Steakery & Pub. I’m uncertain what exactly makes a restaurant a steakery, as Websters has never heard of that word before (though it did suggest that perhaps we meant stalkier or stickler). We learned that their two-for-one Tuesday steak night does not apply on Valentine’s Day. Nonetheless, we both had an excellent filet mignon and exchanged Rebus word puzzles on our placemats. Critter had quite a few that CrafterKat and I did not know.

At the end of the night we exchanged Hugs and a few Yucks (Critter’s middle school translation of the Hugs and Kisses conversation hearts).

Inside every turning leaf is the pattern of an older tree

Editor's Note: Origingally penned just after Christmas but our blog was not up and running at that time.


The day after Christmas reminded me again of how much I enjoy my family. It started with my Mom, the Social Butterfly, making banana pancakes and reminding us that we still had not completed the snow puzzle she had set up. I began packing up our gear only to be reminded that we still needed to get the new VCR/DVD hooked up for my mother.

I unboxed the contraption and gave the remote to my mother so she could put the batteries in. With my head stuck inside the media cupboard, my mother decided that now was a good time to ask all her VCR questions. “What do these numbers do?”

“I don’t know. I’m not to that part yet,” I called from inside the cabinet.

“What does Set Time mean?”

I craned my neck around some more. “I don’t know. I can’t see anything else.”

After a few more back contortions, I finally got the box set up and programmed in her soap opera. “Now, remember, you need to hit this button here and then the power button, to make sure the program is set. You’ll see a little clock just above the time.” Actually with my prescription and hers it looks like a square but I wasn’t going to go into semantics right now. She nodded and thankfully I didn’t have to go into the Power Off vs. Power On routine that has normally followed any programming done on the VCR.

Flashback 1980-something…
Me: So, Mom, to program your soaps you need to turn the Power on, go to the Program menu and plug in the date and time. When you’re done, press the Power button again to turn the machine off so it can begin taping.
Mom: Don’t you mean turn the Power button on? Because it needs to be On to start taping?
Me: The VCR already has the Power turned on. That’s how we set the date and time. Now we need to turn it off so it can start taping.
Mom: So I press the button to turn it on to start recording? I turn the Power on?
Me: *sighs heavily*

Repeat for each new VCR purchased thereafter.

We packed up the car with our Christmas goodies and suitcases and went to Mr. GoGoGo’s house to pick up leftovers. My father-in-law had BBQ’d a great turkey for dinner—he has since declared that it is time to get a new grill as this one finished the bird in two hours instead of four or five.

More food was crammed into available crannies, we reminded LaLa to see the doctor tomorrow (Avocado Pit=1, LaLa’s Finger=0), and Critter loaded up on leftover suckers which had been provided by the Gold Beach contingent. I tried not to think of the number of presents and linens that could be covered in a sticky goo in the back seat.

The Renaissance Man, CrafterKat's brother, returned from the store, his youngest son sporting a new purple lightsaber. Apparently older brothers can’t have purple ones—younger ones are supposed to have them, too. Our young Jedi showed a few moves and dropped the lightsaber. “Careful!” cried his mother, “I don’t want you breaking it already!”

He pointed to the handle. “Don’t worry, just this small bit broke off right here.”

“We just bought it five minutes ago!”

He chuckled as only a six-year old can. “Just kidding.”

After more hugs and goodbyes, we finally piled into the car and headed to Starbucks to get the driver fully caffeinated. Ten minutes later she came back with her pumpkin latte and my hot chocolate. “What took so long?” I asked.

“New guy running the cash register who didn’t know what buttons to push and a Barrista? Barristo? running the espresso machine on Eugene Time. Which is not as laid back as Hawaii time, but close.” I nodded and we merged onto the freeway.

Our return trip home was a delightful mélange of teenisms, wild animal sightings and snacking. I looked in the mirror and spied Critter slurping on a green sucker. “What flavor is it?”

“Sugar,” she answered.

Before we hit Brownsville we had spotted about ten hawks, each about 500 ft. apart spying the fields for rodents. Critter spotted three more, fourteen baby lambs and one golden styrofoam eagle.

“I have to get up to 16 hawks,” Critter said.

“Why…?”

“For when I become 16 because that’s when I’ll have my own car.”

We chuckled at her assumptions.

This is the same teenager who, with an older sibling/babysitter voice, advised Jedi Racoon, her six-year old cousin, to be sure and leave a note for Santa along with a plate of cookies. My nephew listened intently, the youngest and last True Believer in our family, and included a carrot for Santa’s reindeer beside his note.

When we got home to my mother’s Christmas night, Critter asked how Santa could get into houses without chimneys. Christmas morning we discovered a glass of milk and a note had been left for Santa in Critter’s seventh grade scrawl.