Our gorgeous glass tiles went in next. You can see the little spacers in this picture that kept everything straight (mostly) and even..JPG)
I went to the manufacturer's website and copied the image of each tile color. Then I created the pattern on my computer and printed it out for the contractors. We went through a couple of copies, before I got smart and put it in a plastic sleeve..JPG)
It took something like three days to do this much of the tile. Apparently the little glass tiles were a pain in the neck. As it was the contractor's idea in the first place, I didn't feel much sympathy when he complained.
The brownish stripe beside the bathtub tile was an area of fresh plaster. The contractor was trying to feather-out the edge of the porcelain tile, so we wouldn't have to install a trim (which would have looked awful!)
And you'll note that the new white tub is in!
But the countertop is not... Where, oh where is our countertop??
Turns out, we got a GREAT deal on the granite countertop because it was being discontinued. So the last remaining version in our color was shipped to us from Bellingham... And cracked on the way down. Our contractor had his supplier scouring the West Coast for a replacement. Which was found... eventually.
Thank goodness this isn't our only bathroom!
Friday, May 30, 2008
Tiles and Tribulations
Saturday, May 17, 2008
Suzie Q
Pink Is the New White
Had a shock on about day 4 of the bathroom remodel...
We weren't sure what the contractor had in mind. All of the walls were suddenly pink! This was tragic! Not at all what we asked for.
And odd...
The new tub was in. (Not the drywall, yet. Needed the special backer board for tile work.) Tub is white, like we planned.
And the components for the new bathroom fan were in (and the old, nasty soffit was gone).
So what was with the pink?
Turns out, the contractor uses a tinted mud when he re-textures a room, so he knows where he has been. All of this would be painted (or cleaned off, as in the case with the sink handle and the back of the door.)
Speaking of the door... All of the doors in the house were the 70s dark brown, hollow core. The contractor suggested we could put a new wood veneer over the door to get rid of that nastiness. It was about on day 4 or so that we figured out it would be cheaper to replace the whole door, frame/jam and all. So the contractor wasn't worried about getting stuff on the door at this point - he knew we were going to replace it.
We DID decide to put a new veneer on the little 15-inch-wide pantry door that is next to the bathroom. It was the only door left in the house that was still the nasty dark brown. Now it looks like mahogony. Oooooooh, aaaaaahhh.
Demo Delight
Mmmmm, bathroom demo... Mmmmmm.
So removing the tub and drywall revealed a small problem. No, not rotten wood (although we definitely feared that). Nope, this problem is a hole at the tub drain in the subfloor that goes all the way into the soffit/low ceiling in the garage. We assume it was to provide easy access from underneath. You could go in to the garage, pop off some drywall in the low ceiling, and fix the plumbing. Kinda handy.
But with no insulation, it meant the old cast iron tub was the same temperature as the air in the garage. Brrrrr. We had this fixed.
Speaking of the tub... Here it is in all of its black iron glory. It's resting on the debris from the surrounding wall - all of the tile, mostly. I kept thinking "So glad I didn't have to haul this thing out of there..."
Ah, so nice to have this tile gone.
Up next, "Pink Is the New White".
Wednesday, April 30, 2008
Hook, Line and Sinker
Random Family Conversation #213
Critter: ..and so my friend Sam is getting married tomorrow!
Me (slightly confused but figuring it has to be a teenager thing): Oh? And, um, why is that?
Critter: In drama class, we're doing this scene and Sam is getting married to the hotest guy in the class. (she giggles excitedly) Omigosh, he's so hot. He's got this one kinda lazy eye and it's soooo cute! We call him 'Phonics'.
Me: Oh?
Critter (smiling): Yeah, cause we're Hooked On Phonics!
Tuesday, April 22, 2008
Bunny Hop
Have you ever danced the Bunny Hop? Two hops forward, one hop back, and some fancy toe tapping. That’s an apt description for selecting our fixtures for the bathroom remodel, too.
Bathtub – plain white. Cast iron with white enamel.
One hop back: Tub will take a week to arrive.
Towel bar – chrome with porcelain accents.
Vanity cabinet handles – chrome with porcelain accents.
Light fixture – went to Home Depot, didn’t like anything there.
One hop back: Went to Lowe’s, settled on chrome 4-light fixture with white shades.
Sink faucet – chrome with interchangeable porcelain or chrome handles, 4-inches on center.
One hop back: Need 8-inches on center to accommodate new granite countertop.
Shower fan – purchased 2.0 sones fan with 50 CFM (CFM? Horsepower)
One hop back: Need 0.5-1 sones with 70+ CFM
Toilet paper roll holder: burnished steel with porcelain accents.
One hop back: Need chrome with porcelain accents.
Granite countertop for vanity with white under-mount sink – GREAT deal at Home Depot. Half the cost of what we thought we’d have to spend.
One hop back: Only one countertop of the style/color we like, and it’s in Bellevue. Will take a week to arrive.
Decorative tile for backsplash and shower surround – found cool tile shop; want glass tiles.
Multiple hops back: Would take 2 weeks to special-order our tile choices; nothing in “seconds” section of store (which no one told us about until AFTER we got home); researched other glass tile retailers in area; found a hole-in-the-strip-mall distributer who could order my tile and have it in a week. SOLD!
Mirror – went to IKEA, found exact item, paid $20 and came home. 
On the plus side, the tile distributor was eccentric and fun. His son works the cutting machine on the special orders. He has a new puppy, who comes to the store and hangs out. When I was checking out tile and sending JewelGeek photos on my cell, the puppy was following me around and cooling herself off on the granite slabs. They also have a store bunny. He hops around the store merrily, rolling in the dust and generally surprising the customers. JewelGeek took a picture when she went to pick up the tile…
It at least made us laugh.
April Bathroom
As with any remodel, you have in mind a timeframe for getting the job done. Our goal was to have this job completed over the month of March, with an unveiling April 1. Please pretend it is the first of April, alright?*
When figuring out what we needed and wanted in our new bathroom we decided it had to be functional first and foremost. Our first thought was this one but we nixed it because CrafterKat and I don't really wear high heels. It seemed a pre-requesite. Plus the windows would look into the back of the fridge and the microwave.
I told CrafterKat that we should really honor the concept of bringing the outdoors in. We have white peacocks that roam our neighborhood and I thought they'd be great central theme for the bathroom.
So what did we have on April 1? This beauty features a two-person jacuzzi bath and shower. A fireplace seemed an absolute necessity, so we had one of those installed, too. And a design plus? This bathroom, as opposed to my Peacock Bathroom, actually has a commode.
We toyed with the idea of installing a Korean appliance in the bathroom but I didn't think I could handle watching my father-in-law make some of these faces (especially the guy's reaction at the 24 second mark).
In the end, we spared no expense and decided that Critter didn't really need to go to college after all. Nor did she need all that bedroom space so we reconfigured the bathroom to be in her old bedroom. We think she could easily roll out a sleeping bag on the tile floor.
* In other words, April Fools. We will get new photos up of the real bathroom soon!
Sunday, April 20, 2008
When Life Hands You Avocados…
I recently had one of the most hilarious discussions with a colleague about the housing fashions of the 1970s. She grew up in a home with red shag carpeting in the livingroom and three “classic colors” bathrooms (powder blue, avocado, and beige). In the early 80s, her mom redecorated the livingroom – yup, mauve and light blue. Yikes!
Our home is a mid-70s split-level. When we moved in, it still had the lovely amber sidelight windows at the front door, an amber glass globe chandelier in the foyer, and architectural “details” such as arches and rod-iron decorative grill work. It even had the ORIGINAL avocado green electric stove/oven in the kitchen. “The horror! The horror!”
We’ve been updating/remodeling almost non-stop for the last several years. JewelGeek and I have similar tastes (thank goodness), and the temperaments to live with chaos for a while, knowing that it WILL end and a better thing will come of it. A few years ago, we remodeled the kitchen. That same year, Mr. GoGoGo and I remodeled the downstairs bathroom over a weekend. This last month, we tackled the main bathroom. Why? Well, when Critter came out with a piece of green enamel from the bathtub and asked if it was supposed to do that, we knew it was time.
So, here is our Guacamole Bathroom, pre-remodel. Absorb. 
Thursday, April 10, 2008
American Idle
Last night as Critter watched snippets of American Idol, I sat at the computer to play some online sudoku. As I opened Yahoo, I read an entertainment news headline that I thought might earn me some Cool Mom points--either the Wow-Mom-Knows-My-Music or the I-Understand-Your-Pain variety. It seems that Critter's Pete Wentz of The Fall Out Boys is now engaged to Ashlee Simpson, Jessica's younger sister.
"Oh, honey," I sighed, "it looks like your Pete Wentz is engaged."
"Who?"
What?! The rock guitarist you sighed over in the doctor's office? The good looking member of the group? I kept my voice calm. "You know, the guy you like from the Fall Out Boys?"
She nodded but continued to watch Billy Crystal and Lindsey Lohan Miley Cyrus. "Oh, yeah. I'm not much into him anymore..."
No Cool Mom points for me, it seems. "Oh? Is he sooo 2007?"
She rolled her eyes. "Yeah, sooo 2007."
Well, maybe one Cool Mom point.
Saturday, April 05, 2008
The Miracle Worker
In high school, CrafterKat encouraged me to participate in the after school drama program. "You don't have to be on stage," she explained, "there's lots of stuff to do behind the scenes." So I took a chance, stepped out of my comfort zone, and joined the zany group that routinely performed. My first production was The Miracle Worker, the story of Helen Keller. CrafterKat played the role of Aunt Ev and I, not being a seamstress or mechanically inclined to stage craft design, assumed the role of Properties Manager.
It was my job to make sure that the furniture got moved on stage for different scenes, that the actors had their walking stick or suitcase, and that the table was set for the big food fight scene when Annie first arrives to teach Helen. I remember that the bassinet used in the opening scene was mine, an antique that my parents had kept for me for my future children. The doll that Annie brings Helen was my own, a Raggedy Ann my grandmother had made. And the food fight? I cooked up a batch of food before every performance that the actors would secretly eat when they were supposed to be "frozen" on stage.
Helen's parents were played by the high school drama redhead--a statuesque singer with a charisma streak that was off the charts--and a somewhat portly young geek who was new to our school. The contrast between these two was quite acute. Everyone knew the redhead was going to continue in the drama arena after school--she could sing, act, she was humble, and very nice. The new guy was a bit harder to read--he could act, yes, but he had this very subtle, quiet humor that could leave us in stitches if his comment was above a stage whisper. Our redhead became a stage actress back east (Chicago?) and we wouldn't be surprised if our young geek had a writing role on Mystery Science Theater 3000.
There's a part in the play where Annie takes Helen to a summer hunting cottage off the Captain's vast estate to teach. As the main stage represented the house--the dining room, Annie's bedroom, and the infamous water pump in the front yard--we had little room to represent this important spot. The theater had two aprons, little bits of stage that jutted into the audience and cradled the orchestra pit. The front of the apron was perhaps eight feet wide but the part that attached to the main stage had to share space with the stage exit, so it tapered to only three feet.
We outfitted the apron with a little table and chair, and one rather large potted tree to represent that it was a summer house. The spot worked fine for Annie and Helen--there was plenty of room for the roughhousing that occured when lessons were portrayed--but it was tight for everything else. And it was not much better with a director who kept changing his mind about set design, lighting, entrance cues, and placement of props. That stupid potted plant moved to all four corners of the apron and the actors would adjust their stance and position each time.
At last, the director made a decision--place the plant at the cottage "entrance", the part attached to the main stage. The audience would be able to see Annie and Helen and the plant would be out of the way. Never mind that it was an obstacle to the Captain and Helen's mother. The Captain would battle the foliage with his walking cane, and keep one hand on the redhead to keep her from falling into the orchestra pit.
As the director paused rehearsal--yet again--we heard the Captain casually sum up his existence in the scene. "This is my wife. This my plant."
CrafterKat and I busted a gut. From that day on, we've used this simple statement in tight quarters when something else keeps interfering, usually a home improvement project when something isn't going quite right. Stuck under a leaky sink or moving a heavy bookcase? This is my wife. This is my plant.
As Bill Cosby says, "I told you this story so I could tell you another."
E-mail to CrafterKat:
From: JewelGeek
Sent: Thursday, April 03, 2008
Subject: JewelGeek's Day
8am Ask MS Dean if the chalkboard on the drama stage is magnetic. She was to check yesterday afternoon.
10-noon E-mail Evil PXE about not finding magnetic boards and who should I talk to about ordering one.
2pm Per Evil PXE's e-mail, check Athletic Center for floater board used in coaching.
2:15 Discover that there are mounted boards in the Weight Room. Wrinkle nose at smell.
2:30 Discover that the other boards are cork bulletin boards. Not magnetic.
2:45 Find a white board with past principal's old schedule in the Athletic Storage Room!
3:00 Laugh at the names of people who don’t teach here anymore. Haul board back to office.
3:05 Discover that it is not magnetic.
3:06 Cry a little on the inside.
3:15 Go back to Storage Room WITH magnets. Find chalkboard on wheels.
3:16 Pray
3:17 Rejoice. Chalkboard is magnetic
3:18 Worry about yanking board without talking to Athletic Director.
3:25 Find Academic Dean and tell her about Board, explaining that the coach diagrams look to be from football season.
3:30 Ask where to get money to buy magnets.
3:35 Head to Athletic Cent-- Wait. Bathroom
3:37 Think to self. It’s a good spot, you know?
3:38 Wonder if there is a White Board already in the Conference Room…?
3:40 Nope.
3:42 Enthusiastically walk towards Athletic Center, heading for stairs.
3:45 How am I gonna lug the thing up stairs? Elevator is too small…
3:50 Cry a little on the inside.
3:55 Pray and head to back boiler room, down the hall from the conference room.
4:00 No broken chalkboards on wheels.
4:05 Behind fake stage foliage, one white magnetic white board.
4:06 This is my plant. This is my magnetic board.
Friday, March 14, 2008
Black is a great color--it sets off your wig!
A great perk to my job is the artwork produced by hundreds of tiny (and not so tiny) hands. The women who have lived here for over a hundred years have paintings and ceramic statues in the upstairs Residence; beautiful, hand-sewn quilts are constantly produced for baptisms, baby showers, and wedding gifts. In the schools, students decorate the hallways for dances and Spirit Week (this January it was superheroes). Art projects are proudly displayed to parents and friends. But it’s the little kids’ work that I enjoy the most. My old office used to be closer to those classrooms and it was always a joy to run an errand that direction—dancing paper leprechauns stand outside the kinder room, homage to Monet flower gardens done in tissue paper crowd around another door, and state maps wallpaper another corner.
Every winter, though, we’re treated to a surprise on the upper most floor—The Hall of Presidents. You can tell these kids spent quite a bit of time making them. I love every one of them. I’m assuming that there is a corresponding paper to each portrait but I’ve never seen them. I can deduce, though, what might have been on the paper…
George Washington, 1789-1797
Everyone knows that George Washington served as a general in the American Revolution and was voted unanimously as the first president of our country. What many don’t know is that he loved Quaker oatmeal. Would eat it night and day.
John Adams, 1797-1801
John Adams, our second president, was instrumental to creating the Declaration of Independence. He was the first president to move into the new White House located in Washington, DC. Sources say he is the great, great, great grandfather to the Hensen Muppets.
Thomas Jefferson, 1801-1809
What hasn’t been said of the great Thomas Jefferson? Writer of the Declaration of Independence at 33, served as the minister to France in 1785, built the impressive Monticello estate, and made the smartest real estate purchase in the history of the country. He often performed concerts on the White House lawn as Ziggy Stars-And-StripesDust.
John Quincy Adams, 1825-1829
Son of President John Adams, John Quincy served under President Monroe as Secretary of State and helped formulate the Monroe Doctrine. No candidate for the 1825 election had the majority of electoral votes, so John Quincy’s appointment was decided by the House of Representatives. Upon becoming President, Andrew Jackson (who had lost the election), charged that a “corrupt bargain” had taken place and began an earnest campaign to wrest the Presidency from Adams. Historians now believe the “corrupt bargain” was in fact a pact with the netherworld; he lived the remainder of his days as an undead zombie.Andrew Jackson, 1829-1837
Andrew Jackson was elected by popular vote; in his first message to Congress he recommended eliminating the Electoral College which lost him his bid for presidency before. The current Democratic party grew from political discussions during this era. Hostile cartoons circulated calling him King Andrew I. There was, perhaps, a bit of royalty within him; presidential biographers are uncertain if he is related to the King of Pop or Don King.
William Henry Harrison, 1841
The Whigs, the other political party to develop during President Jackson’ term of office, nominated Harrison in 1840. He won by a majority of less than 150,000 but swept the Electoral College vote, 234 to 60. Les than a month in office, he developed pneumonia and died in office. Funeral attendees included Pikachu, Vampire Hunter D, and Sailor Moon.Millard Fillmore, 1850-1853
Under President Fillmore’s term, California was admitted as a free state, the Texas/Mexico boundary was settled, and the slave trade abolished in the District of Columbia. Despite these achievements, President Fillmore could still not find a pair of sunglasses that fit.Rutherford B. Hayes, 1877-1881
The closest election in history, Rutherford B. Hayes went to bed thinking that his democratic rival had won. Hayes election depended upon contested electoral votes in Louisiana, South Carolina and Florida (can anyone say déjà -vu?). The final electoral vote: 185 to 184. His first action? To banish wines and liquors from the White House. This may explain his fondness for prancing in the forest singing, “I’m a Lumberjack and I’m okay.”
Theodore Roosevelt, 1901-1909
After the assassination of President McKinley, Roosevelt became the youngest President at age 42. Before he came to office, he served as a lieutenant colonel of the Rough Riders in the Spanish-American War. Some say he was more comfortable in the saddle, then sitting in the Oval Office. He is most often remembered for saying, “Speak softly and carry a big stick of sun tan lotion.” Near the end of his tenure, however, he had an unfortunate run-in with an Amazon Witch Doctor; many historians claim he was the first Flower Child. 
Woodrow Wilson, 1913-1921 
Woodrow Wilson campaigned for President on a New Freedom program which stressed individualism and states’ rights. In 1917, President Wilson asked Congress for a declaration of war against Germany. After the Germans signed the Armistice in November 1918, Wilson went to Paris and crafted the Versailles Treaty, the beginnings of the League of Nations. While abroad, he reveled in his androgyny, singing “Wilkimmen, beinvenue, welcome, im cabaret, au cabaret, to cabaret!” In his spare time he built computer consoles.
Dwight D. Eisenhower, 1953-1961
Eisenhower had a prestigious career in the military during World War II. He commanded the Allied Forces landing in North Africa in 1942; two years later he was responsible for the D-Day landing in France. After the war, he worked for NATO until he was persuaded to run for President in 1952. As President, he continued most of the New Deal and Fair Deal programs started by his predecessors, and ordered the desegregation of schools and the armed forces; the soul patch he sported illustrated his solidarity.
John F. Kennedy, 1961-1963
The youngest President to serve, Kennedy was also the youngest to die in office by an assassin’s bullet in Dallas, Texas. He was dedicated to human rights, promoted the Peace Corps, and called for new civil rights legislation. After the Bay of Pigs, he proposed a nuclear test ban treaty and promised to land a man on the moon. He is sometimes mistaken for his brother, Ted Kennedy, mislabeled in this picture. 
Richard Nixon, 1969-1974
During his term of office, President Nixon ended the fighting in Viet Nam and improved relations with the USSR and China. When the Watergate scandal broke, Nixon challenged government officials. “I know nothing, I didn’t see anything, I wasn’t there, and if I was there, I was asleep.” In the end, he made America an offer we can’t refuse and resigned from office.
James Carter, 1977-1981
A peanut farmer in his youth, President Carter worked hard to combat an energy shortage, improve the national park system, increase social services, settle differences between Egypt and Israel, and bring home US hostages held in Iran. Some historians, however, claim that Carter is much older than he looks, pointing to portraits of Jimmy “Lestat” Carter from the 18th century and stating that he wears high-collared jackets to hide tell-tale vampire bite marks.
Ronald Reagan, 1981-1989
Actor turned politician, President Reagan sought to achieve “peace through strength,” increasing defense spending by 35%. After seeing a George Lucas film he was heard to ask, “How much would one of those Death Stars cost?” Shortly after President Reagan took office in 1981, he was shot by a would-be assassin. It’s said he developed his love of karaoke during his hospital recovery.
William Clinton, 1993-2001
President Clinton was the first Democratic president to win a second term of office since Franklin D. Roosevelt and sought legislation to reform the country’s health care system. Even though he dispatched peace keeping forces to war torn countries and campaigned against drug trafficking, President Clinton’s lifelong goal was never realized. It is said that he was bitterly disappointed when he did not get the part to play the saxophone-playing child in The Simpsons.
George W. Bush, 2001-
In his second term of office, the Blue Fairy appeared and tapped President Bush with her wand. He jumped up, exclaiming, “I’m not a puppet. I’m a real boy!”
Tuesday, March 11, 2008
And the beat goes on
So my big news...
I left my job in Big Pink with no prospects and no agenda in mid-February. Within two weeks, I was offered a similar position at a firm along the river. I accepted, and will start on March 31st - giving me plenty of time to relax and recreate, without the job-hunt hanging over me.
Of course, we've taken bids for some landscaping work and a bathroom remodel, which we will try to get going pretty quickly. So much for the resting part.
I am REALLY excited about this position and the company. Keep your fingers crossed!
Monday, March 10, 2008
An Axe To Grind
I called my mother, the Social Butterfly, after lunch today to fill her in on our weekend.
JewelGeek: …and so that’s about all.
Social Butterfly: Well, that sounds good. I want you to know that I think I’m finally over being angry with you. It’s been a few days now and I just thought that if I gave it enough time, I woudn’t be angry anymore.
JG (slightly worried): Oh?
SB (sighing): Well, you know when you were a teenager and you and Grandpa and Uncle Punch and I all went to Mapleton* to check on the flood damage—
JG (sighing relievedly): Oh, yeah.**
SB:--and we went through Enchanted Forest because that’s on the way? Well, we were real lucky to go when we did because they weren’t quite open yet and I was able to talk with the worker there who had figured out some fabulous internships for you. I mean, they were all over the country! Fantastic opportunities! There was even one in Maine! And I was a little worried about the cost and the airfare and all, but I had enough money to send you to them.
JG (nodding and trying not to laugh): Mmm-hmmm…
SB: And when I showed them to you, the only one you wanted to go to was Tree Falling! In Sweethome! I couldn’t believe it! Here were these fabulous opportunities and all you wanted to do was Tree Falling!
JG: Well, you know…
SB: I couldn’t believe it!
JG: Well, remember when CrafterKat and I went and did that foreign exchange program? You know, way back when they did that new fangled thing by flying over the Pole? So we landed in Finland or Norway—I don’t remember which—but it was one of those real far north countries where it stays bright through a big chunk of the year?
SB: Mmmm-hmmm.
JG: Well, we got there real late, you know, like ten-thirty or eleven at night and they put us up in one of those Youth Hostel type places because our next flight to where the internship was located wasn’t until like one o’clock. So CrafterKat and I lug all of our suitcases and stuff into this hotel place but we wake up real early—you know, bright sun and all—and we leave the hotel to go and check out the shops and we pick up some real nice pastries ‘cause we haven’t had anything to eat yet—
SB: Mmmm-hmmm. I’m sure those were good—
JG: And somehow I found time to get an internship at the local bank. But it was like Disney Bank because they rotated you through all the spots in the bank in fifteen minute intervals. I just worked the teller windows, though. But what was real surprising—besides the fact that they used US currency—is that they didn’t give out any change. So if I had to give a person twelve dollars and three pennies, then I would give them a ten, two ones, and then use this clear liquid for the pennies. So I had to give them this little plastic cup and pour out three pennies of oil…
SB: Oh, sure. Uh-huh.
JG: I’d not ever seen anything like that before. I don’t know what these people did with their little vials of cooking oil, drink them up? So anyways, CrafterKat and I get back to the hotel and the rest of the group had left! Because we were supposed to leave at one in the morning! Not one in the afternoon! Can you believe it?
SB: That’s too bad.
JG (grumbling): I should have taken the Tree Falling internship in Sweethome…
* Mapleton is my mother's hometown, a tiny little community on the road to the coast.
** My mother and I often share our dreams in this very matter-of-fact manner.
Friday, March 07, 2008
May the Road Rise to Meet You
I embarked on a deeply spiritual and profound journey yesterday evening. At the request of my dear friend, ScrapMaven, I became an ordained minister in the Universal Life Church Monastery so I could officiate at her wedding in August. All online. All free. All in less than 30 minutes.
And yes, it is all legal. I just got off the phone with our local county recording office. As long as I say I am an officiant and there is a religious organization granting me that authority, the County is perfectly happy with the arrangement. I just have to fill in my portion of the license after the ceremony and get it to the County within 10 days of the wedding.
Oh yeah, and actually lead the ceremony. Doh!
The theater-ham in me is relishing this. The logical, rational part of me is (understandably) still baffled and suitably awed by the seriousness of this endeavor. I don’t want to mess this up!
The ceremony itself is up to me and the couple to work out. Do they want to do their own vows? Do they want some ritual to include the kids? Do they want little funny anecdotes sprinkled throughout?
JewelGeek was no help. “Do you take her? Yeah? Do you take him? Yeah? Ok, we’re done. You’re married.”
Um… probably not…
Critter thinks it is cool and weird. She knows me to be spiritual – but never to be on the same page as any organized religion. (Not that anyone in the world would consider an internet religious organization an “organized religion” in the tradition sense.)
Wow. I’m a Reverend. Wow. This definitely defies reason. It MUST be faith.
Thursday, March 06, 2008
Well, It Was Allegorical
Chaucer: I'm a writer.
Wat: A what?
Chaucer: A wha- a what? A writer. I write, with parchment, and ink. Geoffrey Chaucer's the name, writing's the game. You've read my book? the Book of the Duchess? No? Well, it was allegorical.
Roland: Well, we won't hold that against you, that's for every man to decide for himself.
Today at work my fellow geeks had this conversation.
The Evil PXE (typing an e-mail): Why is it 'flexibility'? Why isn't it 'flexability'? Isn't it that you are able to flex? Who said it had to be with an 'i' instead of an 'a'?
JewelGeek (deadpan): It was Chaucer.
Lego Programmer (deadpan): Chaucer. Damn that bastard.
Wednesday, January 16, 2008
Shanghai Surprise with Flat Stanley
Dear TLC,Saturday Critter and I took Flat Stanley to downtown Portland for lunch and to see some of the sights. We took him to Fong Chong’s restaurant in Chinatown for dim sum. Flat Stanley watched in fascination as the wait staff rolled little carts of food around the restaurant. Each cart contained two or three food items, in little plates or steamer bowls, and the visitor gets to choose what they’d like to eat from the cart. “Shrimp roll? Shrimp dumpling?” You take what you want and wait for the next cart to roll through.
“What’s it mean, dim sum?” asked Flat Stanley. I learned later that it means, literally, “touch the heart”; in essence, “order to your heart’s content.”
Critter and I sampled several things and most of lunch conversation went like this:
Me: What’s that pink thing with the peas in it?Critter: I don’t know. But it’s really good.
Me: What’s in it?
Critter: Peas…?
Flat Stanley: I think it’s a shrimp ball…
Chinatown is located next to Portland’s Old Town shopping district so many visitors make a day of it, sampling really good food and then continuing to the open air market by the river. A new Chinese Garden is now open and there are lots of little art galleries close by.
For a taste of really old Chinatown and Old Town, visitors can go on tours of the Shanghai Tunnels, located beneath the city. These tunnels were built in the 1800’s to move goods from the ships docked in the river to basements of warehouses and such in the city. But they were also used to kidnap unsuspecting sailors and workmen and sell them into slavery across the ocean. Many of the old bars had trapdoors built in to capture a person and hold them for the next shipment out. Don’t worry—no one uses the tunnels anymore—it’s simply a tourist attraction now.
After lunch, we walked around Chinatown and then went to Powells, the City of Books. This 
bookstore is a favorite and fills an entire city block. I especially like the Gold Room which has a large section devoted to science fiction and fantasy. Authors from all over come to this Portland bookstore to sign books. And parts of the building…Next we visited Mill Ends Park, the world’s smallest park. “You’ll like this one especially, Stanley. It’s just your size.” This park was created on St. Patrick’s Day over fifty years ago for a colony of leprechauns. It is reported that snail races have occurred here, too.
Our last stop was a visit to the Oregon Museum of Science and Industry (OMSI). OMSI used to be located up on the Washington Park hill across from the Zoo but in the 1990’s it moved to a new site by the river. The site was donated by Portland General Electric and one wing of the museum is built in an old steam turbine building. The museum has a planetarium, an OMNIMAX theater, and the USS Blueback submarine.
By late afternoon we were home again. And just in time to eat dim sum leftovers!
Take care and lots of hugs!
~JewelGeek