An Axe To Grind

I called my mother, the Social Butterfly, after lunch today to fill her in on our weekend.

JewelGeek: …and so that’s about all.

Social Butterfly: Well, that sounds good. I want you to know that I think I’m finally over being angry with you. It’s been a few days now and I just thought that if I gave it enough time, I woudn’t be angry anymore.

JG (slightly worried): Oh?

SB (sighing): Well, you know when you were a teenager and you and Grandpa and Uncle Punch and I all went to Mapleton* to check on the flood damage—

JG (sighing relievedly): Oh, yeah.**

SB:--and we went through Enchanted Forest because that’s on the way? Well, we were real lucky to go when we did because they weren’t quite open yet and I was able to talk with the worker there who had figured out some fabulous internships for you. I mean, they were all over the country! Fantastic opportunities! There was even one in Maine! And I was a little worried about the cost and the airfare and all, but I had enough money to send you to them.

JG (nodding and trying not to laugh): Mmm-hmmm…

SB: And when I showed them to you, the only one you wanted to go to was Tree Falling! In Sweethome! I couldn’t believe it! Here were these fabulous opportunities and all you wanted to do was Tree Falling!

JG: Well, you know…

SB: I couldn’t believe it!

JG: Well, remember when CrafterKat and I went and did that foreign exchange program? You know, way back when they did that new fangled thing by flying over the Pole? So we landed in Finland or Norway—I don’t remember which—but it was one of those real far north countries where it stays bright through a big chunk of the year?

SB: Mmmm-hmmm.

JG: Well, we got there real late, you know, like ten-thirty or eleven at night and they put us up in one of those Youth Hostel type places because our next flight to where the internship was located wasn’t until like one o’clock. So CrafterKat and I lug all of our suitcases and stuff into this hotel place but we wake up real early—you know, bright sun and all—and we leave the hotel to go and check out the shops and we pick up some real nice pastries ‘cause we haven’t had anything to eat yet—

SB: Mmmm-hmmm. I’m sure those were good—

JG: And somehow I found time to get an internship at the local bank. But it was like Disney Bank because they rotated you through all the spots in the bank in fifteen minute intervals. I just worked the teller windows, though. But what was real surprising—besides the fact that they used US currency—is that they didn’t give out any change. So if I had to give a person twelve dollars and three pennies, then I would give them a ten, two ones, and then use this clear liquid for the pennies. So I had to give them this little plastic cup and pour out three pennies of oil…

SB: Oh, sure. Uh-huh.

JG: I’d not ever seen anything like that before. I don’t know what these people did with their little vials of cooking oil, drink them up? So anyways, CrafterKat and I get back to the hotel and the rest of the group had left! Because we were supposed to leave at one in the morning! Not one in the afternoon! Can you believe it?

SB: That’s too bad.

JG (grumbling): I should have taken the Tree Falling internship in Sweethome…


* Mapleton is my mother's hometown, a tiny little community on the road to the coast.

** My mother and I often share our dreams in this very matter-of-fact manner.