Black is a great color--it sets off your wig!

A great perk to my job is the artwork produced by hundreds of tiny (and not so tiny) hands. The women who have lived here for over a hundred years have paintings and ceramic statues in the upstairs Residence; beautiful, hand-sewn quilts are constantly produced for baptisms, baby showers, and wedding gifts. In the schools, students decorate the hallways for dances and Spirit Week (this January it was superheroes). Art projects are proudly displayed to parents and friends. But it’s the little kids’ work that I enjoy the most. My old office used to be closer to those classrooms and it was always a joy to run an errand that direction—dancing paper leprechauns stand outside the kinder room, homage to Monet flower gardens done in tissue paper crowd around another door, and state maps wallpaper another corner.

Every winter, though, we’re treated to a surprise on the upper most floor—The Hall of Presidents. You can tell these kids spent quite a bit of time making them. I love every one of them. I’m assuming that there is a corresponding paper to each portrait but I’ve never seen them. I can deduce, though, what might have been on the paper…

George Washington, 1789-1797

Everyone knows that George Washington served as a general in the American Revolution and was voted unanimously as the first president of our country. What many don’t know is that he loved Quaker oatmeal. Would eat it night and day.

John Adams, 1797-1801

John Adams, our second president, was instrumental to creating the Declaration of Independence. He was the first president to move into the new White House located in Washington, DC. Sources say he is the great, great, great grandfather to the Hensen Muppets.

Thomas Jefferson, 1801-1809

What hasn’t been said of the great Thomas Jefferson? Writer of the Declaration of Independence at 33, served as the minister to France in 1785, built the impressive Monticello estate, and made the smartest real estate purchase in the history of the country. He often performed concerts on the White House lawn as Ziggy Stars-And-StripesDust.

John Quincy Adams, 1825-1829

Son of President John Adams, John Quincy served under President Monroe as Secretary of State and helped formulate the Monroe Doctrine. No candidate for the 1825 election had the majority of electoral votes, so John Quincy’s appointment was decided by the House of Representatives. Upon becoming President, Andrew Jackson (who had lost the election), charged that a “corrupt bargain” had taken place and began an earnest campaign to wrest the Presidency from Adams. Historians now believe the “corrupt bargain” was in fact a pact with the netherworld; he lived the remainder of his days as an undead zombie.

Andrew Jackson, 1829-1837

Andrew Jackson was elected by popular vote; in his first message to Congress he recommended eliminating the Electoral College which lost him his bid for presidency before. The current Democratic party grew from political discussions during this era. Hostile cartoons circulated calling him King Andrew I. There was, perhaps, a bit of royalty within him; presidential biographers are uncertain if he is related to the King of Pop or Don King.

William Henry Harrison, 1841

The Whigs, the other political party to develop during President Jackson’ term of office, nominated Harrison in 1840. He won by a majority of less than 150,000 but swept the Electoral College vote, 234 to 60. Les than a month in office, he developed pneumonia and died in office. Funeral attendees included Pikachu, Vampire Hunter D, and Sailor Moon.

Millard Fillmore, 1850-1853

Under President Fillmore’s term, California was admitted as a free state, the Texas/Mexico boundary was settled, and the slave trade abolished in the District of Columbia. Despite these achievements, President Fillmore could still not find a pair of sunglasses that fit.

Rutherford B. Hayes, 1877-1881

The closest election in history, Rutherford B. Hayes went to bed thinking that his democratic rival had won. Hayes election depended upon contested electoral votes in Louisiana, South Carolina and Florida (can anyone say déjà-vu?). The final electoral vote: 185 to 184. His first action? To banish wines and liquors from the White House. This may explain his fondness for prancing in the forest singing, “I’m a Lumberjack and I’m okay.”

Theodore Roosevelt, 1901-1909

After the assassination of President McKinley, Roosevelt became the youngest President at age 42. Before he came to office, he served as a lieutenant colonel of the Rough Riders in the Spanish-American War. Some say he was more comfortable in the saddle, then sitting in the Oval Office. He is most often remembered for saying, “Speak softly and carry a big stick of sun tan lotion.” Near the end of his tenure, however, he had an unfortunate run-in with an Amazon Witch Doctor; many historians claim he was the first Flower Child. Woodrow Wilson, 1913-1921 Woodrow Wilson campaigned for President on a New Freedom program which stressed individualism and states’ rights. In 1917, President Wilson asked Congress for a declaration of war against Germany. After the Germans signed the Armistice in November 1918, Wilson went to Paris and crafted the Versailles Treaty, the beginnings of the League of Nations. While abroad, he reveled in his androgyny, singing “Wilkimmen, beinvenue, welcome, im cabaret, au cabaret, to cabaret!” In his spare time he built computer consoles.

Dwight D. Eisenhower, 1953-1961

Eisenhower had a prestigious career in the military during World War II. He commanded the Allied Forces landing in North Africa in 1942; two years later he was responsible for the D-Day landing in France. After the war, he worked for NATO until he was persuaded to run for President in 1952. As President, he continued most of the New Deal and Fair Deal programs started by his predecessors, and ordered the desegregation of schools and the armed forces; the soul patch he sported illustrated his solidarity.

John F. Kennedy, 1961-1963

The youngest President to serve, Kennedy was also the youngest to die in office by an assassin’s bullet in Dallas, Texas. He was dedicated to human rights, promoted the Peace Corps, and called for new civil rights legislation. After the Bay of Pigs, he proposed a nuclear test ban treaty and promised to land a man on the moon. He is sometimes mistaken for his brother, Ted Kennedy, mislabeled in this picture. Richard Nixon, 1969-1974

During his term of office, President Nixon ended the fighting in Viet Nam and improved relations with the USSR and China. When the Watergate scandal broke, Nixon challenged government officials. “I know nothing, I didn’t see anything, I wasn’t there, and if I was there, I was asleep.” In the end, he made America an offer we can’t refuse and resigned from office.

James Carter, 1977-1981

A peanut farmer in his youth, President Carter worked hard to combat an energy shortage, improve the national park system, increase social services, settle differences between Egypt and Israel, and bring home US hostages held in Iran. Some historians, however, claim that Carter is much older than he looks, pointing to portraits of Jimmy “Lestat” Carter from the 18th century and stating that he wears high-collared jackets to hide tell-tale vampire bite marks.

Ronald Reagan, 1981-1989

Actor turned politician, President Reagan sought to achieve “peace through strength,” increasing defense spending by 35%. After seeing a George Lucas film he was heard to ask, “How much would one of those Death Stars cost?” Shortly after President Reagan took office in 1981, he was shot by a would-be assassin. It’s said he developed his love of karaoke during his hospital recovery.

William Clinton, 1993-2001

President Clinton was the first Democratic president to win a second term of office since Franklin D. Roosevelt and sought legislation to reform the country’s health care system. Even though he dispatched peace keeping forces to war torn countries and campaigned against drug trafficking, President Clinton’s lifelong goal was never realized. It is said that he was bitterly disappointed when he did not get the part to play the saxophone-playing child in The Simpsons.

George W. Bush, 2001-

In his second term of office, the Blue Fairy appeared and tapped President Bush with her wand. He jumped up, exclaiming, “I’m not a puppet. I’m a real boy!”

And the beat goes on

So my big news...

I left my job in Big Pink with no prospects and no agenda in mid-February. Within two weeks, I was offered a similar position at a firm along the river. I accepted, and will start on March 31st - giving me plenty of time to relax and recreate, without the job-hunt hanging over me.

Of course, we've taken bids for some landscaping work and a bathroom remodel, which we will try to get going pretty quickly. So much for the resting part.

I am REALLY excited about this position and the company. Keep your fingers crossed!

An Axe To Grind

I called my mother, the Social Butterfly, after lunch today to fill her in on our weekend.

JewelGeek: …and so that’s about all.

Social Butterfly: Well, that sounds good. I want you to know that I think I’m finally over being angry with you. It’s been a few days now and I just thought that if I gave it enough time, I woudn’t be angry anymore.

JG (slightly worried): Oh?

SB (sighing): Well, you know when you were a teenager and you and Grandpa and Uncle Punch and I all went to Mapleton* to check on the flood damage—

JG (sighing relievedly): Oh, yeah.**

SB:--and we went through Enchanted Forest because that’s on the way? Well, we were real lucky to go when we did because they weren’t quite open yet and I was able to talk with the worker there who had figured out some fabulous internships for you. I mean, they were all over the country! Fantastic opportunities! There was even one in Maine! And I was a little worried about the cost and the airfare and all, but I had enough money to send you to them.

JG (nodding and trying not to laugh): Mmm-hmmm…

SB: And when I showed them to you, the only one you wanted to go to was Tree Falling! In Sweethome! I couldn’t believe it! Here were these fabulous opportunities and all you wanted to do was Tree Falling!

JG: Well, you know…

SB: I couldn’t believe it!

JG: Well, remember when CrafterKat and I went and did that foreign exchange program? You know, way back when they did that new fangled thing by flying over the Pole? So we landed in Finland or Norway—I don’t remember which—but it was one of those real far north countries where it stays bright through a big chunk of the year?

SB: Mmmm-hmmm.

JG: Well, we got there real late, you know, like ten-thirty or eleven at night and they put us up in one of those Youth Hostel type places because our next flight to where the internship was located wasn’t until like one o’clock. So CrafterKat and I lug all of our suitcases and stuff into this hotel place but we wake up real early—you know, bright sun and all—and we leave the hotel to go and check out the shops and we pick up some real nice pastries ‘cause we haven’t had anything to eat yet—

SB: Mmmm-hmmm. I’m sure those were good—

JG: And somehow I found time to get an internship at the local bank. But it was like Disney Bank because they rotated you through all the spots in the bank in fifteen minute intervals. I just worked the teller windows, though. But what was real surprising—besides the fact that they used US currency—is that they didn’t give out any change. So if I had to give a person twelve dollars and three pennies, then I would give them a ten, two ones, and then use this clear liquid for the pennies. So I had to give them this little plastic cup and pour out three pennies of oil…

SB: Oh, sure. Uh-huh.

JG: I’d not ever seen anything like that before. I don’t know what these people did with their little vials of cooking oil, drink them up? So anyways, CrafterKat and I get back to the hotel and the rest of the group had left! Because we were supposed to leave at one in the morning! Not one in the afternoon! Can you believe it?

SB: That’s too bad.

JG (grumbling): I should have taken the Tree Falling internship in Sweethome…


* Mapleton is my mother's hometown, a tiny little community on the road to the coast.

** My mother and I often share our dreams in this very matter-of-fact manner.

May the Road Rise to Meet You

I embarked on a deeply spiritual and profound journey yesterday evening. At the request of my dear friend, ScrapMaven, I became an ordained minister in the Universal Life Church Monastery so I could officiate at her wedding in August. All online. All free. All in less than 30 minutes.

And yes, it is all legal. I just got off the phone with our local county recording office. As long as I say I am an officiant and there is a religious organization granting me that authority, the County is perfectly happy with the arrangement. I just have to fill in my portion of the license after the ceremony and get it to the County within 10 days of the wedding.

Oh yeah, and actually lead the ceremony. Doh!

The theater-ham in me is relishing this. The logical, rational part of me is (understandably) still baffled and suitably awed by the seriousness of this endeavor. I don’t want to mess this up!

The ceremony itself is up to me and the couple to work out. Do they want to do their own vows? Do they want some ritual to include the kids? Do they want little funny anecdotes sprinkled throughout?

JewelGeek was no help. “Do you take her? Yeah? Do you take him? Yeah? Ok, we’re done. You’re married.”

Um… probably not…

Critter thinks it is cool and weird. She knows me to be spiritual – but never to be on the same page as any organized religion. (Not that anyone in the world would consider an internet religious organization an “organized religion” in the tradition sense.)

Wow. I’m a Reverend. Wow. This definitely defies reason. It MUST be faith.

Well, It Was Allegorical

Chaucer: I'm a writer.

Wat: A what?

Chaucer: A wha- a what? A writer. I write, with parchment, and ink. Geoffrey Chaucer's the name, writing's the game. You've read my book? the Book of the Duchess? No? Well, it was allegorical.

Roland: Well, we won't hold that against you, that's for every man to decide for himself.

~A Knight's Tale (2001)

Today at work my fellow geeks had this conversation.

The Evil PXE (typing an e-mail): Why is it 'flexibility'? Why isn't it 'flexability'? Isn't it that you are able to flex? Who said it had to be with an 'i' instead of an 'a'?

JewelGeek (deadpan): It was Chaucer.

Lego Programmer (deadpan): Chaucer. Damn that bastard.

Shanghai Surprise with Flat Stanley

Dear TLC,

Saturday Critter and I took Flat Stanley to downtown Portland for lunch and to see some of the sights. We took him to Fong Chong’s restaurant in Chinatown for dim sum. Flat Stanley watched in fascination as the wait staff rolled little carts of food around the restaurant. Each cart contained two or three food items, in little plates or steamer bowls, and the visitor gets to choose what they’d like to eat from the cart. “Shrimp roll? Shrimp dumpling?” You take what you want and wait for the next cart to roll through.

“What’s it mean, dim sum?” asked Flat Stanley. I learned later that it means, literally, “touch the heart”; in essence, “order to your heart’s content.”

Critter and I sampled several things and most of lunch conversation went like this:

Me: What’s that pink thing with the peas in it?
Critter: I don’t know. But it’s really good.
Me: What’s in it?
Critter: Peas…?
Flat Stanley: I think it’s a shrimp ball…

Chinatown is located next to Portland’s Old Town shopping district so many visitors make a day of it, sampling really good food and then continuing to the open air market by the river. A new Chinese Garden is now open and there are lots of little art galleries close by.

For a taste of really old Chinatown and Old Town, visitors can go on tours of the Shanghai Tunnels, located beneath the city. These tunnels were built in the 1800’s to move goods from the ships docked in the river to basements of warehouses and such in the city. But they were also used to kidnap unsuspecting sailors and workmen and sell them into slavery across the ocean. Many of the old bars had trapdoors built in to capture a person and hold them for the next shipment out. Don’t worry—no one uses the tunnels anymore—it’s simply a tourist attraction now.

After lunch, we walked around Chinatown and then went to Powells, the City of Books. This bookstore is a favorite and fills an entire city block. I especially like the Gold Room which has a large section devoted to science fiction and fantasy. Authors from all over come to this Portland bookstore to sign books. And parts of the building…

Next we visited Mill Ends Park, the world’s smallest park. “You’ll like this one especially, Stanley. It’s just your size.” This park was created on St. Patrick’s Day over fifty years ago for a colony of leprechauns. It is reported that snail races have occurred here, too.

Our last stop was a visit to the Oregon Museum of Science and Industry (OMSI). OMSI used to be located up on the Washington Park hill across from the Zoo but in the 1990’s it moved to a new site by the river. The site was donated by Portland General Electric and one wing of the museum is built in an old steam turbine building. The museum has a planetarium, an OMNIMAX theater, and the USS Blueback submarine.


By late afternoon we were home again. And just in time to eat dim sum leftovers!

Take care and lots of hugs!

~JewelGeek

Two Hours With Stanley

(For more letters with Flat Stanley, click the archives on the left)

Dear TLC,

Today feels like a Monday to me. I slowly made my way out of bed, only half-listening to the radio show on my alarm clock. There was a slight, almost feather-like, knocking at the door, low but insistent. Funny, I thought, the cats don't normally knock. I swung the door open and there stood Stanley.

"It was really cold last night," he said.

"Yep." I yawned.

"Do you think it snowed?"

I focused on his words. And then on the radio DJ's words. "...Beaverton, two hours late... Canby, two hours late... Estacada, two hours late..." Finally, the DJ mentioned our hometown and I grinned at Stanley. "You bet it did, Stanley! Let's go look!"

We bundled up and stepped carefully outside. The DJ had reported that only some snow had fallen in the night but it had stuck and frozen. We had black ice on the roads. "I could go skating," said Stanley!

I pointed out that it might be a bit too icy for that. "I could scrape the ice off the roads. This would work!"

"I think our little Princess neighbor would miss that if you borrowed it, Stanley. How about you just BBQ up some breakfast for us?"

Stanley wasn't sure how to BBQ eggs so we settled for cereal and waited for the ice to clear up.

I hope you've had at least one good snow day, TLC!

~JewelGeek

Earthquakes, Tsunamis, And Volcanoes, Oh My!

(Continued from Part 1…)

After we parked, Flat Stanley stood in awe outside the car. “Those trees are massive,” he said.

“They’re sequoia trees. The Sisters planted them about a hundred years ago. They had to hand-water them in order to keep them alive the first year. This was long before we had sprinkler systems and such. The trees on this campus are so impressive, that they are under the protection of the city—they can’t be cut down unless the Sisters get special permission. Not that they’d want to.”

Flat Stanley and I brought the donuts upstairs and we all devoured the tasty treats from Beaverton Bakery. My two coworkers looked a bit like this when we done. It gave us a few minutes to chat while their blood sugar levels evened out. Flat Stanley asked what it is that we do here.

I explained that the Information Technology (or “I.T.”) Department handles all of the computer and tech needs of our campus. From printers to computers to e-mail and Internet, it all passes through our department at some point.

“We’re a bit unusual, though, working for a religious organization. The Sisters who live here oversee a bunch of different ministries. We’ve got a daycare center, a nursing home, and schools that cover grades K-12. You could literally enter the school system as an infant at the daycare and graduate from the high school at 18.”

My boss added, “And that doesn’t even begin to cover it all. We make sure that the people who support the schools—like the accounting offices or the maintenance staff—have the software and computer equipment they need to do their jobs. We’ve got a security system that runs off of computers, security cameras that we oversee, websites that we host for each entity…”

“So how does it pass through your office?” Flat Stanley asked.

I showed him our server closet just behind a glass door. All of the computers, I explained talk to equipment in this little space. All of the rooms in the high school have a computer drop—a hole in the wall where you plug in a computer—and it connects up in our little cabling rack. We then patch each computer into all of the servers—really, really big computers that manage the Internet or websites or e-mail or nursing home data—and let them talk to each other. “It’s a bit like Ernestine patching in telephone callers,” I explained.

Flat Stanley helped us change out a motherboard on a computer and asked us more questions about the area. “You’re in the heart of the Silicon Forest,” I explained to Flat Stanley. “Maybe you’ve heard of Silicon Valley in California? That’s where all the high tech companies have offices. Well, the same is true here. We’ve got Intel, Tektronix, Xerox, and many others right in our back yard, so to speak.”

“Intel… They are the ones that make computer chips?” Flat Stanley asked.

“Yep. And don’t forget that Google has offices in the Columbia Gorge!” added my coworker.

If it were summer, I explained, there’d be even more going on. Washington County has lots of golf courses, a hot air balloon festival and the Rose Festival air show. If you traveled a bit south of here you’d get to see all the wineries. The wines made there are direct competitors with California’s Napa Valley wineries.”

“Any that you like?” he asked.

“Well, CrafterKat and I don’t drink much wine but some of the famous wineries are Sokol Blosser, Erath Vineyards, Duck Pond, Ponzi Vineyards, and Rex Hill Vineyards. Right after I graduated college I worked for a winery association—those places kept getting awards. There are two I like, though, just because they are unusual: Honeywood Winery in Salem makes mead, a wine made out of honey. Mead is a beverage that the ancient vikings drank. The other one I like is Argyle Winery; it is run by a (Australian??) man who makes champagne. Except they can’t call it that because champagne is only made in the Champagne region in France. If some place else makes a bubbly wine, you’ve got to call it sparkling wine.”

Flat Stanley made some notes. “I hope you aren’t planning on bringing TLC back some wine, Stanley…” I frowned.

He shook his head. “No, of course not! I was writing down the part about the hot air balloon show before I forget!”

“Well,” I continued, “how about I show you a bit of France?” He gave me a puzzled look. I took him across the hall to the French teacher’s classroom. Flat Stanely smiled wide at all the pictures and props she uses to teach the language.

When lunchtime came, we treated our college intern and Flat Stanley to lunch at Red Robin. Storm clouds were blowing in as we parked. “I hope it doesn’t rain some more,” mumbled Flat Stanley.

At that moment the National Weather Service interrupted the radio station and announced that they had issued a tornado warning for the area close to Vancouver, Washington! “Is that close to us?” asked Flat Stanley worriedly.

We told him that it wasn’t, it’s on the other side of the Columbia River, about an hour away. Oregon can get thunderstorms quite often but tornadoes are really, really rare. “Do you get anything else? Earthquakes?”

Oregon gets a little of everything, I explained. Wild fires are really common in the high summer when the prairies and forest get really dry. Earthquakes happen from time to time because of the tectonic movements up in the Cascade Mountains or off the Oregon coast. We even had a tsunami once, a giant tidal wave that thundered the coast back in the 1960’s after a huge earthquake in Alaska. Since then, the towns along the coast have had tsunami warning signs posted and schools routinely have tsunami evacuation drills. We even have a program at Oregon State University to study tsunamis—they have a huge wave lab.

“And then there’s the volcano,” my coworker said.

I nodded. “Mt. St. Helens, up in Washington state, has been erupting off and on for over twenty years. No lava in all that time but lots and lots of ash and steam. Portland was covered in ash and the state had to call for federal help to cleanup the mess.”

At that time, I lived in Eugene, two hours from Portland, and we heard the mountain blow. It sounded like a power pole transformer had blown up and the windows shook a bit. Later that day, we had a fine layer of ash across the cars and rooftops of our neighborhood. TLC, your grandpa in Klamath Falls used to live up in Yakima, Washington during that time, and worked for the Bureau of Reclamation. When the mountain blew, he had to drive up and make sure that the dam there was still intact. Ask him about it sometime—it’s a good story.

Flat Stanley continued to look worried as we ate lunch. “I’m sure everything will be fine. We’re very far from the tornado warning area, earthquakes are few and far between, the volcano is hours away and we’re too far inland to get hit by a tsunami. We’ll be fine and those people in southern Washington will be fine, too.”

We finished up lunch and then took a short drive to a big business park near the campus where I work. Flat Stanley looked around and noticed the soccer field out front. “Do they play sports here?”

“Sometimes. This is the world headquarters for Nike, the sport shoe company. They’ve got a soccer field, a running track, running trails… They just opened a Tiger Woods Athletic Center in there, too.”

Nike, I explained, started with two men at the University of Oregon down in Eugene. Phil Knight was a business major and he came up with the idea of selling sports shoes out of the back of his car. The track coach, Bill Bowerman, worked with Phil and came up with the waffle-weave rubber sole by pouring rubber into his wife’s waffle iron. The Nike swoosh is supposed to represent the wing of the Greek god, Nike, who was the goddess of victory. The Nike swoosh is known the world over—and the two Nike guys who started the business paid only $35 for the logo.

We drove around the campus some more, noticing the 19.5 mph road signs and the sculpture of a runner before returning to work.

I then took Flat Stanley to meet some of the people with whom I work. First I took him to visit our Admissions Director, just in case Flat Stanley was interested in coming to school here. Since this is a private school, the students have to apply to attend. Mrs. Claudia, though, is a bit of a sports legend. She won an Olympic medal in swimming when she was just fourteen. Four years later, she won a gold medal at the 1968 Mexico City Olympics and set a world record.

We then swung by the music room to visit Mr. S., the jazz band teacher. Mr. S. is a rocker! He’s played with the Crazy 8’s and was just inducted into the Oregon Music Hall of Fame with his fellow band members. You may never have heard of the Crazy 8’s but your Dad might have. Mr. S. once told me, after I had colored my hair red (it gets rid of the grey!) that I'd make a great singer for his band. I explained that I couldn't sing at all. “That's okay. You've got the hair for it, though!”

Since Flat Stanley had so much fun there, I next took him to visit one of the sweetest Sisters at the Convent, Sister J.T. Sister is the only person I know who plays the harp and gives lessons.

After a long day, we headed home, and I promised Flat Stanley that Critter and I would take him into Portland over the weekend.
Much love to you and your family, TLC.

~JewelGeek

Driving Around With Flat Stanley

To read about Flat Stanley's arrival, click here.

Dear TLC,

I woke Flat Stanley up at 6 a.m. today so that we could go to my work together. He rubbed his eyes blearily. “I’ve still got a bit of jet lag,” he apologized. “Why do you have to leave so early? Don’t you start work at 8 a.m.?”

“Yes, but it takes me an hour to drive to there from here. So I need to leave at 7 a.m.” I then noticed that he had slept in his suit and tie all night. The hazards of not having a suitcase, I guess. But his clothes looked fine (pressed even!) and we made it out the door on time.

Flat Stanley watched the rain whip around the trees during our drive to Beaverton, Portland’s largest suburb. “Does it always rain this much in Oregon?”

I laughed and explained that it was a common perception and it seems very true in the fall and winter. And spring. We get lots of cloudy, grey days and lots of showers pass through the area. But we really do get some beautiful sunny days and even occasionally snow (though it doesn’t look like that will happen this year). “Would you like to hear an Oregon joke?” He nodded. “People in Oregon don’t tan in the summer. They rust.”

Flat Stanley groaned. “Alright, never mind the rain. Tell me about Portland.” I asked him what he knew of the city and the area. He thought a moment. “Well, I know that the area was explored by Lewis and Clark and pioneers came out in covered wagons to settle the place.”

I nodded and motioned to the town on the other side of the river, “That’s Oregon City across the way and it has the home of the Oregon Trail Interpretative Center. It’s got covered wagons and shows people how the settlers came here. And up that hill there, past the outdoor elevator—”

“Elevator?”

I nodded. “It’s the only outdoor city elevator in the U.S., I think. Because the city is built on two layers—at the river’s edge and up on that cliff—the people living there needed a way to get from top to bottom easily. The original water-powered elevator was built in 1915 and it connected the two levels of the city. That one, though, is electric powered and was put in place in the 1950’s.”

I motioned to the top of the hill. “And up past that is the home of Dr. John McLaughlin, the man who ran the Fort Vancouver fur outpost for the Hudson Bay Company. Dr. McLaughlin is called the Father of Oregon for his important role setting up the area for settlers.” I chuckled then and continued. "And it's rumored that his home is haunted by McLaughlin's ghost!"

We merged onto I-5 and headed north to Portland, also known as the Rose City. There are about two million people living in and around the city, I explained. We’ve got museums, lots of parks, two major universities (PSU and U of P), a zoo and people who love the outdoors. Portlanders are close to the mountains—skiing and snowboarding are just a few hours away atop Mt. Hood. Travel east to the Columbia Gorge for fabulous windsurfing and parasailing. We even have Zoobombers!

“What?!”

I chuckled. “The Oregon Zoo is at the top of a hill in Washington Park. Cyclists will take their bike on the MAX train to the Zoo stop at the top of the hill and then race down rapidly. Usually at night. And sometimes in funny costumes. And if you don’t have a bike, there is usually one to spare. Zoobombers maintain a Zoobomb pile.” Flat Stanley said it sounded like fun but a bit dangerous, especially since he didn’t bring a bike helmet with him. I agreed.

“Tell me about the Zoo at the top of the hill. Do you have pandas? I like pandas.”

“No, but we do have pachyderms. In fact, we’ve got Packy.”

Flat Stanley wrinkled his nose. “What’s Packy?” Elephant, I explained. Packy was the first elephant to be born in a zoo, in captivity, in the Western Hemisphere. He made international news in 1962 and his birthday is routinely celebrated each year. He gets a special birthday cake frosted with apples, celery and carrots. Packy is the largest Asian elephant in the United States.

Portlanders love their elephants and we get pretty sad when something happens to one of them. Pet, the elephant matriarch (she's the Elephant Queen at the Zoo) just died recently (she was having surgery on her foot and the doctors couldn’t save her); all the elephants trumpeted their despair at the exact moment of her passing, even though she was in a completely different part of the park. It was quite sad and quite touching. But even with this sadness, the Oregon Zoo has the top elephant breeding program in the United States. Twenty-seven elephants have been born here, seven of them are Packy’s calves. When I last visited the zoo, they had a new elephant from Thailand and the trainers all had to learn a bit of Thai in order to train the elephant. After all, the elephant doesn’t understand English… There are videos of our elephants on the Oregon Zoo's website here.

We pulled off the freeway at this point and I continued to downtown Beaverton. As a special treat, I took Flat Stanley to Beaverton Bakery for donuts. We have a college student who is interning with us over his Christmas Break and I wanted to bring in something special for his last day with us; we're sad that he won't be returning next summer. Flat Stanley, I discovered when we got to work, loves maple bars as much as I do.

(To be continued...)

Delurker Day, 2008

Believe it or not, the Blogosphere actually has a few holidays. Today is one. It's Delurker Day which means it is time to introduce yourselves! If you've stopped by our blog and read an entry or two, please drop us a line. Thanks for visiting!

Vermont Visitor

A note to PigDog's daughter, TLC, in Vermont...

Dear TLC,

Hope your New Year is going well in cold Vermont! I wanted to drop a quick note and let you know that we had a surprise visitor last night—Flat Stanley finally arrived. I admit, I was beginning to worry… I wasn’t sure when I’d have to head off to the airport to pick him up. Imagine my surprise when he showed up, curled up in our mailbox! Apparently his flight got in a little early and he hopped a ride with a postal worker who was heading out to Clackamas County. “The only rule,” he told me, “is that I have to ride in a white envelope.”

I didn’t have time to make up the guest bed so he slept on the couch by the fireplace. “It wasn’t too bad,” he said the next morning. “Every time I got up to take a look outside, one of the cats would come by and ask for a scritch or kitty treat.” He then looked a bit pale and added, “I hope they didn’t think I was the treat!”

I am planning on taking F. Stanley, Esq. to work with me today as Critter has some things she has to do at school today. She just finished a big paper on Beverly Cleary, an author who was born in McMinnville, Oregon. Maybe you have read a book or two of hers? She wrote the Ramona books and a lot of her stories take place in neighborhoods filled with Oregon references like Tillamook Street and NE Sandy Blvd. Grant Park, mentioned in her books, actually exists and has a sculpture garden for children with life-size renditions of Ramona “the Pest” Quimby, Henry Huggins, and Ribsy the Dog.

It’s been rather cold and rainy here—I’m a little concerned that Stanley didn’t arrive with a suitcase. Our weather people have predicted snow off and on the last few days but we never seem to see it. We love seeing snow here—it’s so rare that it sticks. In fact, we Oregonians (at least the ones who live in the Willamette Valley) will often shut down school for the day because the roads get bad and the buses have trouble. When we get snow, we get ice. And that means lots of sliding around. Here's a famous video from a snow storm just one year ago.





Critter and I will probably take Flat Stanley shopping over the weekend and show him a bit of the town. Perhaps we can get him some gloves and warm hat in case it decides to snow (I'm not holding my breath though. Sigh.).

I hope all is well with you. Please give your parents a big hug and tell them we said hello. I'll be sure to send more pictures in the coming days!

Lots of love,

JewelGeek

Merry Christmas To All

O Christmas Tree, O Christmas Tree,
How Lovely Are Thy Baubles

We wish you a most joyoux Christmas filled with much love, rich laughter, and free of furry Ornament Stalkers.

~CrafterKat, JewelGeek, and Critter

Need A Snow Day?

The answer is an emphatic yes.