Clarence, you been rehearsin' real hard to get a new saxophone?

The day after Thanksgiving, we all piled into the Tink Tank for leftovers at Mr. GoGoGo's house. CrafterKat pulled out of my Mom's driveway, turned on the radio and tee-hee'd. Christmas music poured forth from the Eugene radio station.

"I found the one station here that is playing Christmas music all the time." She laughed again.

I sighed comically just as Bruce Springsteen's Santa Claus is Coming To Town came on. "So, this is the first of 300 times I'll hear this song this season." I sighed again, resigned.

For the record, I don't mind Christmas songs. Nor am I anti-Bruce (well, maybe a bit but mostly because the radio stations overplayed him so much in the 80's). I do, however, get ticked off with the repetition of the same songs every season.

Alas, my prediction is not proving true this year. It's the 14th of December and I've only heard Bruce's version of this classic three times.

Instead, every station seems to be playing the Snoopy/Red Baron song and the one about getting a hippopotomous for Christmas. Once or twice is fine--they are cute--but come on! Not every day!

Sigh.

I'm now half-expecting to see a hippo in my garage on Christmas Day.

After all, there's lots of room for him in our two-car garage
I'd feed him there and wash him there and give him his massage.

Well, Merry Christmas mein friend!

Dipping In The Pocket Of Her Raincoat

Ah, rainy days in the Rose City. Now that the carpet and most of the furniture have been installed and delivered, we're beginning to sound like a Paul McCartney song.

Slipping Into Stockings,
Stepping Into Shoes,
Dipping In The Pockets Of Her Raincoat.

Ah, It's Just Another Day. Du Du Du Du Du
It's Just Another Day. Du Du Du Du Du

We're watching the new neighbors...

Spending time with our healthy friends...


Fighting for control of the couch...

Overseeing the melting of ice...

It's been a pretty busy few days!

House of Cards, Part 2

Note: House of Cards, Part 1 can be found here.

It’s been a little over a week since the new carpet has been installed in our home. Here’s what happened:

Friday, November 17
CrafterKat posts sofa, two chairs, and rocker on Craigslist at 9:15 p.m.
Phone rings non-stop beginning at 9:16 p.m. until we disconnect it at 10:00 p.m.
Furniture is brought upstairs and stored in Critter’s room.
JewelGeek sustains Craigslist injury moving overstuffed chair—bangs wrist against doorknob. Lovely bruise is just now fading…

Saturday, November 18
JewelGeek bakes cookies beginning at 6:00 a.m.
First Craigslist reader from Washington state shows at 7:00 a.m. to pick up furniture.
JewelGeek bakes cookies.
Second Craigslist reader shows up to claim remaining items.
We marvel at how empty living room is without comfy furniture.
JewelGeek bakes cookies.
CrafterKat brings up crafting supplies.
Cleaning. Baking. Cleaning. Prepping for party.

Sunday, November 19
JewelGeek bakes cookies.
Final cleaning and prepping for party.
Annual Craft Party!

Monday, November 20
Extra cookies taken to work.
We marvel at how empty the house looks without furniture.

Tuesday, November 21
Pack for Thanksgiving vacation.
Scritch kitties.
Dream of new furniture and carpet.

November 22-25
Thanksgiving in Eugene.
Eat too much food.
Play card games.
Scritch the Captain’s dog. Scritch the Egyptian Queen.

Sunday, November 26
Dismantle computers.
Move majority of furniture into dining room.
Take crafting party supplies downstairs.
Unpack, clean, recover from Thanksgiving.

November 27-29
Watch kitties race across open living space, devoid of furniture
Sit on wooden chairs in middle of living room, meals balanced precariously on laps.
Give up on eating while sitting on wooden chairs. Go to restaurants or get take out to eat in bedroom.
Move large oak bookshelf into kitchen, slightly blocking the refrigerator.

Thursday, November 30
CrafterKat stays home, feeling poorly.

Jewelgeek greets Homer who has come to install the carpet and the vinyl floor for the bathroom. JewelGeek states that the vinyl is for the landing where he is standing and tells him it should match the vinyl located in the kitchen.
JewelGeek checks the van and is assured that it is the correct carpet and vinyl.
Kitties locked in master bedroom with CrafterKat.

JewelGeek visits eye doctor at 9:45 and learns she needs new glasses.
Optometrist assistant urges JewelGeek to buy thick plastic frames popular in the 80’s.
JewelGeek declines and orders pair that is the same model she currently wears.
JewelGeek returns home to mariachi music playing on portable radio for the contractors.
The carpet is mostly laid out.
JewelGeek checks on CrafterKat’s health and invites her to lunch.

Shatter.

Homer and his crew break the sidelight window next to the front door with their equipment.
We fetch heavy plastic from the summer remodel and tape up both windows, inside and out, in case the glass explodes.
We attempt to exit the garage through the car port doors only to find them blocked with rolls of 20-year old carpet. Exit through garage back door.
Back Tink Tank out and around two contractor vans to go to lunch.
Visit to Lowe’s after lunch to inquire about putting in new sidelights.

Returned to find first layer of smoothing agent on the front landing for the vinyl. Have to step on dry areas to get up the stairs.
Living and hallway areas are carpeted.
We retreat to master bedroom to wait for vinyl to be finished.
Critter returns home from school.

Second layer of drying agent on landing is not dry. Fetch heaters and crafting heat guns to dry the landing (it’s about 30 degrees outside).
Notice carpet installers are huddled around gas fireplace trying to get warm.
Circuit for heaters and crafting heat guns blows.

Notice carpet is not wall to wall in the living room as per our specs. Homer’s crew had carpeted to where the old fireplace mantel sat. This carpet was supposed to be one large piece from the fireplace all the way down to the end of the hallway.
Homer says he can melt the pieces of carpet back together and refinishes the living room.

Mariachi music doesn’t help the vinyl sealant dry faster.

Remind Homer’s crew to install the metal bars between the carpet and the existing vinyl (holds the carpet down and provides a threshold as you enter the kitchen).

Critter and JewelGeek sneak out for hamburgers and milkshakes from Mike’s by crawling over the living room furniture blocking the rear door to the deck.
Dinner was scarfed in the master bedroom as we waited for the vinyl sealant to dry.

Noticed that the carpet was laid over the wooden threshold to the master bedroom so we have two different colored carpets meeting about three inches inside the bedroom door.
Crew replaces molding on landing with regular nails instead of finishing nails and have nailed over the tape we used to keep the plastic from flapping away.
Crew leaves house at 7:00 p.m.

Move stereo stand into living room, under window.
Slide TV off of stand and onto wooden chest.
Attach wheels to TV stand and, eventually, lift TV back onto stand.

Check for hernias.
Family retires to bed, exhausted.

Friday, December 1
Recover.

Saturday, December 2
CrafterKat leaves for mandatory training at her office.

JewelGeek takes down the old light in the hallway.
Confirmation phone call with the Renaissance Man about electrical wires.
Critter helps install new light purchased at Lowe’s.
Circuit blows.

JewelGeek drives to Home Depot.

JewelGeek figures out that both the red and the black wires are live. Returns home to install the new light fixture the same way the old one was installed.
New hall light is beautiful. No circuit is blown.

JewelGeek carves carpet away from floor outlet so cover can replaced.
Critter replaces heat vent covers with new ones.
JewelGeek and Critter move oak bookcase back.

Lunch is scarfed.

Critter vacuums. Sort of.
JewelGeek empties clogged vacuum tube filled with five years of kitty fur. Vacuum works beautifully.

Cherry bookcase is unearthed from dining room clutter and moved back.
Critter and JewelGeek watch Christmas movies until furniture shows up.

Furniture arrives at 3:30 p.m.
JewelGeek and Critter test the furniture, exhausted. It’s been two full weeks since we’ve had a sofa and chair.

Desks are brought back into the living room.
Computer is set up. Friday, December 8
JewelGeek's blood pressure is considerably lower and can now write this blog entry.

Luck Be a Lady

Critter is definitely learning cribbage FAST. A game we played after Thanksgiving taught me that Luck prefers young ladies. She scored a 24-point hand! (She lost the game to my advanced pegging skills. And the fact that she led to me.)

The next game, she scored a 20-point hand. (She lost to my last-minute 16-point hand, which I got to count before she could earn her remaining 3 points. Neener neener neener.)

The deck and board sit on the diningroom table, in the middle of a game, covered by the mayhem that was carpet installation. We'll get back to it soon, I assume, and hopefully with no card drama!

House Of Cards

It’s been just over a week since we have had computer access at home. And quite a bit has changed in our Rose City castle. We left for Eugene the Wednesday before Thanksgiving for lots of good food, stories, more good food, and card games.

A typical Thanksgiving conversation at Mr. GoGoGo’s house:

Critter: (perusing her cribbage cards) I need help with this hand.
CrafterKat: You can figure it out on your own. That’s how you learn.
Critter: But I don’t know what to put into the kitty. Grandpaaaaaa!
JewelGeek: Sweetie, try and figure it out yourself.
Critter: Arrrrgggggghhhh!
CrafterKat and JewelGeek: One Eyed Pete! *

We ate far too much turkey, raved about the seafood The Captain brought up from Gold Beach, and helped (?) Chef Flip Flop prep for his cooking test on sauces. Cooking school is serious stuff—he had over 50 sauces to learn that weekend. “My teacher is going to give me a meat and say, ‘Cook this pork with a such-and-such sauce. You have to use this starch for the base and you have one hour and ten minutes. Go!’” No pressure…

Our food bliss ended Saturday with one final leftovers lunch. CrafterKat had a friend from the Seattle area stop by on their way home. She and her husband had been with vegetarian in-laws, dining on tofu turkey and nut stuffing. Their Thanksgiving dinnercan be summed up thusly: “No meat should squeak in your mouth.”

The rest of the weekend was spent preparing the house for the carpet installation on Thursday. Which meant we had to move everything back into the kitchen, an interesting jigsaw puzzle.















But a puzzle which The Little Man enjoyed immensely. The ceiling fan is soooo much easier to play with when you can stand on the television!



* The name we have given Critter's Pirate Cow

Party Pics

Pictures from the Holiday Craft Party. Wish we'd taken more.

Provincial chestnuts... roasted in the oven. Pierce with a fork; preheat oven to 450 degrees; bake for 15-20 minutes. The chestnuts will be HOT, and the steaming soft nutmeat inside may split the hard shell and send bits of chestnut all over the kitchen. (Kinda nifty!) Peel the hard shell off. The lighter brown coating inside is edible, 'though not very tasty. The soft nutmeat is very smooth and buttery -- like Yukon Gold potatoes.

DIG, CraftKat, Bugs, and Daisy

DIG and her amazing, two-sided gift tags. "I just glued two pieces of paper together!"

Golden Poet with embossing supplies. Critter's teacher gift boxes. CraftKat's new mug!!

DIG, LadyLynn, and ScrapMaven - discussing the b&w scrap-pack of CraftKat's. Is it origami paper??? No - just expensive squares of print paper...

SassyGirl selecting "choice cookies." Also note our display of lovely parting gifts, and the ever inspiring kitchen.

Thanks for coming, everyone. And weren't the chocolate chip cookies TO DIE FOR???!!!

…And A Stick of Buttah

As usual, I had far too many cookies left over from the Craft Party. I brought a bag of pumpkin cookies and lime shortbread in for The Boys at work. It’s been a pretty stressful few days as we’ve switched to a new Internet Service Provider and fired up a new Internet Firewall server. The last time the Evil PXE upgraded our firewall it took him five hours. And that included building the server from scratch, installing all the updates, and configuring the firewall settings.

Two days later, and a week or two of reading up on the process, we had our firewall and a dozen websites functional again. The Evil PXE, in short, was fried.

At 4:15, he strolled by my desk, opened up the snack cupboard, grabbed two bags of Doritos, and announced, “It’s BF 2:30!”—our phrase for playing a round of Battlefield 2.

We laughed and watched him wearily sit down at his desk to fire up the game. Our newest staffer reached for a cookie in the ziplock baggie closest to him. Evil PXE comically swatted at his hand and then hugged the cookies and his Doritos tightly to his chest. “Hey! That’s my lunch!” I stared at him blankly for a moment until he yelled his manic/nervous, “What? What?!”

I smirked. “I’m just watching how many of those shortbread cookies you’ve eaten today. You’ve probably eaten a whole stick of butter by now…”

He hung his head. “Don’t tell me that…”

Lime Shortbread Cookies

2 c. unsalted butter (4 sticks)
1 c. powdered sugar
4-6 limes, zested *
1 t. vanilla
4 c. flour

Glaze:
2 c. powdered sugar
¼ c. lime juice, freshly squeezed **

Cream the butter, powdered sugar and zest until well combined (use a stand mixer if you have one). Add vanilla and mix until well incorporated. Slowly add the flour until well combined.

Lay out some wax paper and squeeze/roll dough out into two equal logs, about 2 inches in diameter and 11 inches long. Wrap the dough with the wax paper and chill until hardened, about one hour.

Slice the cookies from the log about ¼ to 1/3 of an inch thick. Place the cookies on a parchment lined baking sheet. Set in a 325 degree oven. Bake until cookies are lightly browned on the edges, about 20-25 minutes. Don’t over bake!

Set the cookies on a rack to cool. Mix the powdered sugar and lime juice together in a small bowl and spoon over the tops of the cookies.

* I zested six limes and one thumb. Just kidding...

** I used closer to ½ c. of lime juice for the frosting. The icing was too thick with just ¼ c. of juice.

This recipe came from another blogger and can be seen in its original context here.

Doh!

I did it to myself again.

I drank coffee after lunch.

And at 1:00 AM last night, I was WIDE AWAKE and surfing around and around on the Tube. Did you know there's nothing on after 1:30 AM? Nothing with a plot, that is. Well, SciFi, but I was trying to get sleepy, not scared witless.

Today, I'm not having any coffee. It's lunch time, and all I really want to do is sleep. I get a little silly when I'm sleep deprived. The good news is that everything is really funny to me right now. The bad news is I still have at least 5 hours to go in the work day, with a super important meeting towards the end, and I'm not sure how I'm going to make it. Probably wouldn't be in my best interest to fall asleep in front of my boss...

Ah, what a viscous circle I have created for myself.

Gingerilicious

Of the four new cookie recipes I baked for our annual Craft Party, this is the one that CrafterKat said I had to make again. I chose this one because I thought it would be perfect for dunking in a large cup of coffee or glass of milk. Turns out I was right.

Gingersnap Sticks

1 c. unsalted butter (2 sticks)
1 ¼ c. + 2 T. sugar
½ tsp. vanilla
2 small eggs or 1 ½ large eggs*
1/3 c. molasses
3 c. flour
2 ½ t. baking soda
½ t. salt
2 ½ t. cinnamon**
2 ½ t. ginger (ground)
1/8 t. black pepper (ground)

Sift the dry ingredients together and set aside. Cream butter until soft. Add sugar, and beat until light and fluffy. Add vanilla and eggs, and beat until fluffy. Add molasses and beat until well-incorporated. Slowly add the dry ingredients until all is well blended.

Line a bread loaf pan with plastic wrap so that the some of it hangs over the outside of the pan. Press the dough into the pan, packing it tightly. Make the top as level as possible. Cover the dough with the remaining plastic and then place a second bread loaf pan onto the mixture (stacking them). This will even out the top of the dough. Freeze the bread pan loaf sandwich for several hours (overnight is best). This dough gets soft quickly, so work fast before it turns into a gooey mess!

Slice the brick into thin slices, no more than 1/8” thick. ***

Place the slices on a parchment-lined cookie tray with plenty of space between. With this much butter, the cookies will spread.

Bake in a 350 degree oven until the edges turn dark brown, about 12 minutes. Keep an eye on them—there’s a fine line between under baked and burned. I took them out at 12 minutes and they still looked like a chewy cookie. By the time I had tasted one 30 minutes later, they had crisped considerably, like a true gingersnap.


* Based on my chocolate chip recipe from Alton Brown, I used one egg and one egg yolk. Seemed to work well.

** The Costco-sized cinnamon and nutmeg containers look surprisingly similar. I’m pretty sure I used nutmeg and no cinnamon. This is what we tech/geek people refer to as a feature!

*** Do you know how thin 1/8 inch is?! My knife skills are not that precise—I was lucky to get them about 1/4 inch thick. The dough was incredibly hard. Trying to cut the ginger brick with a wicked long knife, I ended up with white indentions in my palm from the top of the blade. CrafterKat asked why I kept rubbing my left hand on Sunday; I told her, “My knifing hand hurts…” Perhaps I should call these Jack The Ripper Gingers? Next time I may just roll the dough onto a cookie sheet and freeze that.

I should add that I found the original recipe here; I've reprinted it with my comments. One thing I enjoy about sharing recipes is the little stories that go with them. I liked how this chef got the recipe!

Party, Party, Party

WONDERFUL holiday craft party this weekend. JewelGeek baked all day Saturday and right up to the last minute on Sunday. Our livingroom, now suddenly devoid of couch and occasional chair*, was filled with card tables and folding chairs. Craft supplies overflowed from the long bookcase to the computer desk. Little "guest presents" lined the half wall between the kitchen and livingroom. And cookies, veggies, coffee, and crackers covered our kitchen counters.

It was wet and grey outside, but roasting warm inside with 15 people in attendance. One of our biggest crafting events EVER. These are all amazing women, who would probably craft full time if they thought they could make any money at it and get dental insurance...

ScrapMaven sat at the computer desk, working on her holiday cards, and doled out supplies as people asked for them. It was an unintentional choice of seating - she was just looking for an open space - but it worked out great, as she really knew where everything was. After almost of year of scrapbooking together, she has a pretty good handle on what I have. Or at least knows I probably have the required supply around somewhere. Oh, and the other guests decided ScrapMaven hoarded the good stickers, when after the event they rummaged through the sticker box and found some they hadn't seen earlier...

GoldenPoet, who usually addresses her holiday cards at this party every year, took a break from addressing this year and decided to craft. She stamped and embossed happily in a corner seat, leaving with quite an array of vibrant Celtic note cards. She was so engrossed in her work, she missed it when her number was called for her guest gift. Fortunately, there were some left when she realized what was going on. :)

Critter decorated her teacher's gift boxes. We found small Chinese take-out boxes at JoAnns in pure white, which were perfect for the little items she is giving this year. She doodled cute designs and phrases on all of them. Oh, and she ate almost all of the cheese.

Several of my coworkers came. It is always exciting to see coworkers outside of the work place. I like watching people relax and become themselves. There is something about crafting that forces us to drop our facades and give in to the fun. I'm serious - glue sticks should be in every First Aid kit for stress relief.

SassyGirl, Bugs, Magenta, and Daisy crafted their hearts out. I saw a million little pieces of paper become gift tags, some serious photo organization, and some cute foamie kits assembled for public display. At one point, the room was completely silent, except for the whir of the heat gun. And I think more than 1 tongue stuck out in concentration.

Two of my dearest companions from my arts days rejoined the group. I hadn't seen one of them, DIG**, for over a year. She got lost, as usual, and arrived a bit late. I tried to convince her to stay late, too, but to no avail. And LadyLynn brought her neighbor with her. In her usual, charming, elegant way, she talked up our event to her neighbor, and then sheepishly called us to see if it was ok to bring her along. [Of course!] While DIG and LadyLynn visited quickly in the kitchen, LadyLynn's neighbor made a whirlwind of crafty items. At one point, I saw her freehand a beautiful card. (Must be nice to have talent!)

I should have taken more pictures. (I think JewelGeek snapped a few, which I'll post soon.) I should have spent 5 minutes sitting with each person, watching what they were doing and visiting. Instead, I got engrossed in my own craft project, and eating, and suddenly the event was over.

We hugged goodbye (it's a woman-thing), and packed bags of cookies up for our guests. I had SO much fun. It was hard to let everyone go. The house was mighty empty afterwards.

On the plus side, everyone asked when we were doing it again. And I'm thinking a Spring-themed craft party might be fun...

*We gave away our couch, a rocking chair, an occasional chair with ottoman, and another occasional chair on craigslist Saturday morning. But that's another Blog entry...

**DIG - Directionally Impaired Girl

Dressed For Success

Critter awoke this morning after eight and quickly pulled on the first clean* thing she found: a cornflower-blue, summery camisole top and a somewhat matching broomstick skirt. She answered her e-mails, chatted with people who came by to pick up some old furniture, and shivered while playing an arcade game on the computer.

She pushed herself away from the computer, hugging her cold arms. "I'm gonna put some pants on and dress like a woman..."


*clean is a relative term...

That Politically Correctly-Named Winter Holiday-Time Is Upon Us

So, suffice it to say that I LOOOOOOOOOOVE the holidays. Correction. That should be THE HOLIDAYS; all caps because I am, in fact, screaming this. At least, in my head.

And about this time of year - or so close to after Halloween, the carved pumpkin hasn't even shriveled yet - I haul out the decorations and put up the lights on the house (if I bothered to take them down the previous year...) Every nook and cranny twinkles, sparkles, and overflows with snowmen, Santas, gingerbread men, colored balls, and everything Christmasy.

All of this is in preparation for our Annual Holiday Craft Party, which we host on a weekend in November for our spirited female friends. I reason that the house should reflect the season we are trying to jump-start. And JewelGeek bakes cookies. Heaven.

THIS year, however, we are having our carpet replaced. On November 30th. Well AFTER the party. And we have to move everything out of the way.

Which means no furniture.

And no decorations.

Until December.

I think I'm going to cry...

Glory To Pasta Everywhere

Critter sat at the dining table yesterday evening, taping together a DNA strand for science, and humming to herself.

"Is that the Battle Hymn of the Republic?"

Critter giggled. "Huh? No, I'm singing 'Noodle noodle noodle noooodle. Noodle noodle noodle nooooodle.' I've been singing it all week."

CrafterKat sighed. "That's the Battle Hymn of the Republic."

Saturday Errands In Which We Discover Vegetables and The King

I started my morning by running quick errands: mailing the mortgage check at the local post office, picking up a prescription, and going to the bank to put a savings bond in the safety deposit box. We've been meaning to do this last one for several weeks but can never make it during the work week. Didn't occur to me that if the post office was closed for Veteran's Day, the bank might be, too. Sigh.

Visited Target next and checked on items that might be purchased for Christmas gifts. I gave CrafterKat a call and filled her in on certain items which shouldn't be discussed here...

Met up with Critter and CrafterKat for lunch at Sweet Tomatoes, one of Critter's favorite restaurants. I was then informed that I shouldn't discuss Christmas things on the cell phone as Critter overheard the word 'gift certificate' in my conversation. "I guess you won't be getting any, then," I answered.

She ignored me. "Oh, and you have to find a better hiding spot for Christmas gifts." Sigh.

Critter wolfed down salad and a baked potato and bounced through a re-telling of her phone conversation with LaLa and Mr. GoGoGo. "I called and LaLa answered and I told her--um, asked her--if we could have brussel sprouts for Thanksgiving 'cause I really like 'em and she said 'what?!' and told me I had to talk to Mr. GoGoGo because she couldn't hear very well. And so Mr. GoGoGo got on the phone and I said 'can I have brussel sprouts for Thanksgiving?' and he said, 'why?' and I said 'because they are my favorite vegetable in the whole wide world and if you can't have them at Thanksgiving then what's the point?' And he said 'plain or with cheese?' and I said, 'no just butter'. And, so, yeah."

We swapped parental duties and I took Critter to the mall for some clothes shopping. "I'm so hyper," she said. "I had Starbucks, you know, an egg nog drink, and it was so nummy and when we went to Pet Smart for cat food and I told CrafterKat that we had to be calm because the animals all know when people are hyper and they would all go Roowfff and Meeeeowwww and Cheeerp and Squeeeeek..." We laughed.

The first store didn't have what she wanted so we began the long trek to the anchor store at the opposite end of the mall. As we passed a bridal shop, I was informed that Critter really liked the red gown displayed by the front door. "I'm gonna have a black and red wedding, you know. I'm gonna wear black and everyone else is going to wear red. And it's going to be at night. On Christmas. In Las Vegas."

I chuckled. "Is Elvis going to be there?"

She nodded. "Oh, yes. He's going to marry us."

If Music Be the Food of Love...

(Continued from Nano-Meter)
So on our way home from visiting the computer store geek with little or no helpful information about iPods, other than to say that the iPod Nanos were best, we discussed the fact the Critter didn't have enough money to buy the Nano AND the 2-year protection plan.

[Side note -- I generally disapprove of protection plans. Seems like if they think their product is likely to have a problem in the time allowed for protection coverage, then they ought to fix the product. But in this case, the protection plan covers the cost of a new battery -- as many times as necessary, I think. Given that Critter goes through batteries like water, and that you cannot access the Nano battery by yourself, this seems like a good investment. And what they hay, it's "her" money.]

Critter DID receive a BOOT LOAD of gift cards for her birthday. Three of them were for Fred Meyers. And it occurred to me, as we were driving home, that Freds sells electronics...

So, we stopped at Freds. With her gift cards, she could afford the $200 iPod Nano AND the protection plan. They had one in electric blue. Critter went home a happy kid. And after only two hours of sitting at the computer, she had every CD she owns on the iPod and was bobbing her head in time to the music.

Update:
Last night, Critter asked me if I knew the song "Bicycle" by Queen. [Editorial: Duh! I'm an '80s chick!] She was ecstatic when I downloaded my 2 Greatest Hits CDs to her iPod. Suddenly, I was hip again. But only for a moment.

40 Days

Our newly re-elected governor took on the media late yesterday to blast them for making such a big deal out of the rain in Oregon. As he said, it has been raining in Oregon since time began. Why should that be the second story on a national news telecast? (TV Producer: Um, because of the flooding at the coast, two missing people, nearly-drowned cows, evacuated homes, and millions of dollars in damage, duh. That's news, Baby!)

Narrator: So Noah began to build the ark. Of course his neighbors were not too happy about it. Can you imagine leaving for the office at 7 AM and seeing an ark?
Neighbor: (enters whistling) Hey! You over there.
Noah: What do you want?
Neighbor: What is this thing?
Noah: It's an ark.
Neighbor: Uh huh. Well do you mind getting it out of my driveway? I've gotta get to work.
Noah: [ignores him, continues sawing]
Neighbor: Hey listen, what's this thing for anyway?
Noah: I can't tell you, ha ha ha.
Neighbor: Can't you even give me a little hint?
Noah: You want a hint?
Neighbor: Yes, please.
Noah: How long can you tread water? Ha ha ha.

Nano-meter

This past summer, we decided to teach Critter how to budget and balance a checkbook. We agreed upon an amount to allot her every other month, gave her a check register, taught her some basic rules of conduct (write everything down...) and sat back to watch the experiment.

Now, really, we kept the money in our regular accounts and just allotted an amount to Critter. So we still had to be with her for any purchases. Or she could take out cash at the Bank of Mom. (And write it in her checkbook, of course.)

When Critter realized she would be receiving an ok-amount-of-money every 60 days, rather than the paltry allowance every week, she decided she wanted to save up for an iPod. Save up is relative. If there was the opportunity to go to a movie, she withdrew funds. But she did manage to save quite a bit from installment 1 to installment 2.

This past weekend, we made her read about iPods before we'd let her look at them in the store.

Critter: What's an MP3?

JewelGeek: It's a file type. Like .doc or .xls or .wav.

Critter: iPods play MP3s.

JewelGeek: Yes. And there are other brands that are also MP3 players.

Critter: Uh-huh. And iPods.

JewelGeek: [pause] You know there are a couple of different types of iPods, too.

Critter: [reading] Shhhh. Don't bother me with details.

And later, when she actually talked to a store clerk about them, and reported back to us...

JewelGeek: So what did you learn?

Critter: iPod Nanos are best.

CrafterKat: Why?

Critter: Uh... They're cool looking. And they're small. And they play music. And they come with headphones.

CrafterKat: And what about the battery-life?

Critter: Uh...

CrafterKat: And memory? How many songs do you get for how much memory?

Critter: Uh...

JewelGeek: Do you remember what he said about the protection plan?

Critter: Uh...

All: [pause]

Critter: The one with 4MB memory is only $200. I have $233, so I'm going to get one of those.

JewelGeek: But with the $60 protection plan, you don't have enough money.

Critter: Oh. You mean I read all this stuff and talked to the store guy and learned all the stuff and I'm not going to get an iPod?!!!!

To be continued...

Riiiiiiight

Been raining hard in Portland for a few days. We picked up a Pineapple Express on All Saints Day. Warm, super wet weather has marked the season. Along with Christmas carols at the local mall...

I noticed this morning that our deck swing (now enrobed in its winter protective tent), was situated in front of the kitchen window. Sometime during these blustery rainstorms, it must have been pushed across the slick Trex deck to its new location. I wonder how long it will take for JewelGeek to notice...

The whole torrential rain-thing makes me think of Bill Cosby's "Noah" routine. (I'm dating myself, aren't I?)

God: I'm gonna make it rain for a thousand days and drown 'em right out.

Noah: Riiiiiight. Listen to this, you'll save water. Let it rain for 40 days and 40 nights and wait for the sewers back up.

God: [pause] Riiiiiight.

TLC, TCBY, And A Pirate Cow

Random Car Conversation #112

"I'm going to get a dog and name it TLC and then get another one and name that TCBY."

We glanced in the mirror at Critters prouncement. "Oh?"

"Yep. What does 'TCBY' stand for?"

I chuckled. "The Country's Best Yogurt."

She scrunched up her face in mock serious thought. "Well, then I'll get a cow and call it TCBY."

CrafterKat and I shared a smirk as she turned onto the freeway. "You mean in addition to the ones you already have?" she asked.

Critter stopped looking through her purse. "Wait... Huh?" We shared a quick laugh as it dawned on her what we were implying. She rolled her eyes and drawled, "Noooooowahhh! Not as in 'have a cow!' I mean, a live cow, you know, like, not a dead cow!"

CrafterKat chuckled again. "Noah," she repeated, drawing the word out like Critter's pronouncement, "you could call it Noah!"

Critter slapped her thigh and repeated, "Noooooowah! I mean, arrrrggghhh!"

"Oh, and you could have a pirate cow," I added.

"Oh, yes," CrafterKat agreed. "Maybe with a peg leg and a patch over one eye..."

Monster Cookies for Doc Spidey

We've known Doc Spidey (the smiling one in sunglasses next to Sir Werewolf) since high school and have shared many stories over the years. Doc Spidey sang in CrafterKat's high school jazz choir, he portrayed Snoopy in drama alongside CrafterKat's Lucy, and he scared me half-to-death while watching Alien. You know the scene where the alien pops out of the guy's chest? Well, I didn't...

Some of his adventures and family outings have contributed to our family vernacular. Playing D&D with his Nice Necromancer in his little dungeon apartment spawned the phrase "I wanna see you dance!" Seeing his family dog gave us "Don't squeeze, Daphne!" (Bladder control was not one of the poodle's strong suits...)

We've ordered taco pizzas that he has prepared and road tripped to Bend to see him perform Sondheim. And we've given him as many Zen hugs as we could when we learned about his dad's recent motorcycle accident.

So we've shipped off a batch of Monster Cookies for he and his family as they prepare for Dad's arrival home from the hospital. Monster hugs all around to Doc Spidey and his family.

Monster Cookies

3 eggs
1 1/4 c. brown sugar
3/4 t. vanilla
1 c. sugar
2 t. baking soda
1/2 c. butter
1 1/2 c. peanut butter
4 1/2 c. oatmeal
3/4 c. chocolate chips
3/4 c. M & M's

Combine all ingredient's. Use an ice cream scoop to form balls of dough (they should be around the size of golf balls). Place the dough on a cookie sheet with plenty of space between each cookie. Cookies will spread! I average nine cookies per tray. Bake at 350 degrees for 10-12 minutes.