Songs From The Future

Dear High School Me (circa 1985),

As Douglas Adams wrote, "Don't panic." Somehow, through a rift in the space-time continuum, I've been allowed to send you the ultimate 21st century play list. And by "play list" I don't mean a list of fabulous Broadway productions. I'm talking music. Songs that I (you 25 years from now), enjoy. That item attached to this message? That tiny, little box? That is full of music, some from artists that are still learning to walk in the 1980's. And the best part is that you won't wear out the tape inside and have to listen to Simon LeBon singing soooo sloooowly. And don't tell Dad but that little music player can easily hold a thousand songs and costs less than that Sony Walkman he bought in Hong Kong.

And hey, don't fast forward just so you can hear all the Duran Duran songs. I just don't listen to them as much as I used to. They were great on MTV. When MTV played music videos. But don't worry! I think you'll find some of the other artists just as cute as John Taylor.

Just press the Play button to begin.

The Airborne Toxic Event - "Sometime Around Midnight"

Isn't that a great band name? This is one of my guilty secret bands. I heard them on an Alternative Radio station and just fell in love with the singer's raw voice and his description of this girl he met in a bar. "...the piano's this melancholy sound check to her smile". I think everyone has had this experience--finding the perfect person and knowing it in an instant--and then watching as it all just slips aside.

Anne Hathaway, Ella Enchanted Soundtrack - "Somebody To Love"

We grew up with some great movie soundtracks like Grease, Xanadu, and Footloose. Yes, Ella Enchanted is kind of a kid movie but the humor is great and the songs rock. I listened to this for months, driving to and from work, singing my heart out. When Critter was in the car with me, I'd crank up the music, using her as my excuse to listen. She didn't seem to mind too much. Except when I sang along.

Barenaked Ladies - "One Week" and "It's All Been Done"

Yeah, band names have come quite a ways since the 80's. Apparently they picked this name during a Dylan concert. They were up in the nosebleed seats, couldn't see the show, and pretended to be rock critics. "Well, they're no Barenaked Ladies..." And thus a great band was born. BNL songs are catchy tunes with some fabulous lyrics. Where else can you find references to the X-Files (a scary show you will sorta watch in college), The Price Is Right, and Sting?


Remember what I said about MTV not playing videos any more? Well, until I started writing this note to you, 1985 Me, I hadn't seen the BNL and Airborne Toxic Event videos. Yes, I like the songs just from hearing them on the radio! Can you believe it?!


Beyonce - "Single Ladies (Put A Ring On It)"

A great dance number that spawned MANY home made videos. I think my favorite might still be the Glee Football team version (more on Glee later). You're still young and limber enough you can probably do the whole dance.

the bird and the bee - "One On One"

I discovered this band from a Christmas video posted on some one's blog (blog=that's like an online journal). I think Inara George has a beautiful, ethereal voice. This is one of my favorite Hall and Oates song from their recent tribute album.

Blue October - "Into The Ocean"

The first time I heard this song on the radio I was so pleased to hear that Peter Gabriel had put out a new album. The song is a little dark but the imagery is so beautiful. This is the downside to not watching music videos. It took me months to figure out who sang this song.

Bruce Hornsby - "Gonna Be Some Changes Made"

I love songs that tell stories. Bruce plays some fabulous piano and having Sting on backup vocals isn't too bad either.

Christina Aguilera (et al) - "Lady Marmalade"

Another great dance song from a movie soundtrack. Plus, there's naughty French in it!

The Coats - "Down On The Corner"

I first heard The Coats at Bumbershoot in Seattle. They're a local NW group that got their start singing on the corner of Pike's Street Market. Now, any time they are in the area we try to hit their concerts. Their two Christmas albums are usually in rotation beginning in early November. I have even been known to play Mr. Grinch in July.

Coldplay - "Viva La Vida"

Brilliant lyrics and a very mesmerizing tune. Hit the replay button on this one.

Collective Soul - "Better Now"

This song sounds like it could be sung by an 80's Bowie. Really, he should have performed this on the Glass Spider tour.

Corrine Bailey Rae - "Put Your Records On"

Gorgeous lyrics like "Summer came like cinnamon, so sweet...". Makes me think of all the times I (you) hung out in the backyard listening to my Walkman. Breathe in summer and enjoy the music.

David Sylvian - "Midnight Sun"

David still has that velvety voice you remember from Japan and his early solo work.


Yes, 1985 Me, I'm in the D's. Duran Duran will be coming soon.


Death Cab For Cutie - "I Will Possess Your Heart"

One of the great things about this band is that all their songs kind of sound the same. I know most people would think that a bad thing, but this band is my Go To music when I have to hunker down and get some work done. All of the songs sort of flow together and two hours later I've finished updating that thing with all the words, the numbers match up, and I've got a happy boss.

Dixie Chicks - "Cowboy Take Me Away" and "Wide Open Spaces"

Yes, it's country music. But it rocks! And you'll want to run away with a romantic cowboy when you're done listening.

Duran Duran - "Ordinary World"

See? I put one song on the list for you. I do listen to Duran Duran, but not their later stuff as much as the music they put together in the 80's. Oh, and I hate to break it to you, but we never married John. Sorry.

Elton John - "The One"

Technically this song is from your future, but only by a few years. I still love the lyrics.

Ewan McGregor and Nicole Kidman, Moulin Rouge soundtrack - "Elephant Love Medley"

Every love song you can possibly name sung by Obi Wan Kenobi and Bewitched's Samantha.

Five For Fighting - "100 Years" and "The Riddle"

Two songs not performed by Train. I like the message in both of these songs. Again, not having MTV videos to rely on made figuring out who sang these a little difficult.


There are more songs on the play list, 1985 Me, I'll have to send that list in a separate batch. Stay tuned!

I Can Rite Teh Blog!

i knoe! iz been monthz since teh humanz has ritten anythin on dis siet. iz not 4 lack ov tryin on mah part. i haz been rubbin up aganst thur legs, sittin in frunt ov teh computr screen, an tryin 2 stare them down. sadlee, teh humanz tend 2 finkz dis meanz i wants tuna. or milk. an sometimez i let them bleev dat, cuz, hay, im not goin 2 turn down an offr liek dat.

but, rly, enuf iz enuf. i knoe u loyal reederz has been wonderin wut they haz been up 2, an, moar importantly how im. cuz u all knoe im teh prettiest feline they haz. an far moar intelligent than all teh bois in dis houz rolld togethr. i smell mutch bettr than them, 2--has u seen teh disgustin tings they rolz in?

dis summr seemd 2 be rly busy tiem 4 da humanz, especially teh hooman wif teh curly hair. she lockd us up in wan ov teh rooms 4 full dai 4 no reason jus cuz she had birfdai or somethin. i knoe! it wuz not fair 2 lock me away frum evryone--i knoe they wuz wantin 2 c me! an rumer haz it thar wuz homemade ice creem--nom!--an lawts ov pplz in funny hatz liek wut puss wore in dat shrek movee. they talkd funny 4 da dai--all yo ho ho liek they wuz santa claws or somethin. but it wuz 2 warm 4 santa. i meen, liek "doan-touch-teh-fur-or-els" hawt.

the funniest part of the hole sumr waz wen interloper cat left teh houz for a few hourz and came back all shaved. he tried 2 strut wut waz left of hiz stuf but it jus made me spit up hairbalz each time i sawz him. teh humanz rly like it tho so who im to arguez? jus az long az they doan do it 2 me!

at teh end ov teh summr, teh humanz left us 4 weekz an weekz (wait, mah cuzin teh lil man sez it wuz only few dais, 4 tops) 4 da beach. they went 2 teh aquareeum an didnt even brin bak fish 4 us! so selfish! all they brot bak 4 us starvin kittehs wuz sum empty shoppin bags. no tuna! no milk! wut kind ov vacashun present iz dat?

side nowt... interlopr kat jus interuptd me. hez makin all sorts ov noize. iz jus piteebul. i jus stare at him an he moanz an whinez. 2 funny, i tell u! i swear he wuz not worshippd as deeatee in past life. im thinkin he wuz box ov nails b4 or somethin.

when teh humanz got bak frum teh vacashun, teh gurl began skool again. she leavez me evry dai 2 go an study or somethin. wan dai she wuz rly happeh cuz she got her licens. but i doan bleev her cuz she doan wear it around her neck liek we do.

latr on thar wuz bunch ov cryin an teh humanz kept sayin dat teh wite metal ting in da garage wuz ded. when i lookd in da garage, all i saw wuz wan ov dose hooj metal tings wuz kind ov crunchd up on wan side. it didnt smell ded 2 me jus oilee.

next ting i knoe, teh crunchy metal box iz gone an teh garage iz left open 4 me 2 roll arond on. im tellin u, thaz teh best place evr 2 pulay "katch me, im free!" teh next best place iz outside teh houz wer teh humanz nevr let me go. an rly, they shud. cuz thar r thees hooj wite birdz dat come 2 teh houz all teh tiem an they rly shudnt cuz iz r houz, u knoe?

teh stoopid orang interlopr kat gets 2 go outsid whenevr he wants. iz not fair. hez all fur an no branz. u wantz 2 knoe seekret? when he furst came her he wuz so stoopid--didnt knoe wer teh dor wuz. hed go into teh bafroom, jump into teh tub, an scratch teh wall liek he shud be let oot or somethin. stoopid. evryone knows teh baftub iz jus anothr littr box. wif shampoo smelz.

teh othr interlopr kat? teh stripd boi? he jus sleepz in da gurls room an sits in da windowz. hez got window rite by teh gras an he cant even scare away teh wite birdz. rly, wut purpose doez he serve? i, at least, iz her 4 da humanz--they ned 2 pet pritee kats all teh tiem. thaz mah job. 2 fill dat basic hooman ned. an 2 eat their tuna.

sigh. mah cousin sez dat im rantin an shud git bak 2 teh blog ting.

wer wuz i? christmas, i finkz. teh curly hooman had her pplz heer an they all eatd lawts ov gud fud (nom nom nom!) an gaev us kats lawts ov crinkly papr 2 sit on. it wuz rly gud christmas. lawts ov tasty things on teh hooj green tree (which duzint smell liek tree but it sure lookz liek wan). teh lil man wuz kind ov mad at teh humanz, though, cuz they put all teh kitteh toyz on rly tight an wud yell at us when any ov us trid 2 chew wan off ov teh tree. even old fuzzy slug.

fuzzy slug didnt do dat 2 mutch, tho. she spent mos ov teh tiem lyin in box dat smelld liek rly gud chinees fud, an soakin up teh heat frum teh fireplace. doan tell anywan, but we kats r havin seekret meetin next week 2 figyur out how 2 turn on dat fire. it involvez dis blak box dat teh humanz use. they jus point it at teh square in da wall an flamez shoot up an we git nice an toasty.

hay, we ned 2 stay warm, u knoe. cuz sometimez it gets all wite outside. not liek last yer when teh skoolz closd an all teh humanz had 2 stay home all dai an hold us (ya!) but it doez happen. teh othr hooman, teh wan hoo bakez, it took her 5 hourz 2 driv home rite aftr christmas. she made it home all in wan peece. we all trid 2 sit on her at woncz 2 show her we wuz worrid bout her.

teh next dai she came home frum werk early an when i snuck into teh garage 4 gud roll, teh metal box dat livez on teh far side wuz all crunchd up behind teh bak rubbr weel. dis made evryone cry sum moar. i didnt smelz oily stuff liek teh last wan but frum teh wai evryone actd, i cud tell it wuz ded 2.

so wut did they do? all 3 ov teh humanz left us. agan! weekz an weekz went by--an teh lil man will confirm dis cuz he got lockd in difrent room frum me--an i thot they wud nevr return. teh only gud ting bout teh whole tiem wuz dat i got teh choice window spotz whenevr i wantd them. but no fire. an no tuna eithr.

when they finly came hom they brot new metal box wif them. iz all black an vry tall an smells liek shampoo. but not gud shampoo liek wut teh humanz use. i luv shampoo. fuzzy slug has ting 4 shoez. me? shampoo. cant git enuf ov it. teh lil man sez i nedz 2 c consler or somethin 4 mah shampoo obseshun.

anyways, i finkz thaz all teh stuff uve ben misin. if i finkz ov somethin els ill try 2 let u knoe, especlee if it involvez mah pritee self!

~teh southern belle

p.s. i knoe dat humanz call me doofie sometimez. i finkz iz cuz they doan knoe how 2 spell mah naym rite. fuzzy slug sez dat teh interlopr kats call me teh wickd witch ov teh south. im k wid dat, 2.

What do you do with a drunken orange?

After an excellent late supper at Sushi & Maki's, we drove the back parking lots to a nearby grocery store to get dessert cookies. I made a slow left turn and waited a moment for my food to slosh back in place.

"Ugh," Critter groaned. I nodded.

"JewelGeek is a little food drunk right now," said CrafterKat. Critter laughed and they both began to sing:

What shall we do with a drunken JewelGeek?

What shall we do with a drunken JewelGeek?

What shall we do with a drunken JewelGeek?

Early in the morning.

CrafterKat laughed. "Yeah, nothin' rhymes with 'JewelGeek'. It's like the word 'orange'..."

We crossed another painful speedbump. "I know lots of words that rhyme with orange," said Critter. "Florange. Plorange. Rorange. Delorange..."

"Delorange?"

"It's like 'Delores' but with 'orange'..."





And for those that don't know the Irish Rovers' sea shanty, here's a video to get you in the mood.

The Libra Monologues

Traditional Libra Traits

Diplomatic and urbane

Romantic and charming

Easygoing and sociable

Idealistic and peaceable

Indecisive and changeable

Gullible and easily influenced

Flirtatious and self-indulgent

After a long day of work and meetings, CrafterKat and I decided we’d go out to dinner. “Where’d you like to go, Critter? We were thinking maybe Red Robin…?”

She wrinkled her nose, hands on hips. “No. I don’t want a burger.”

“Sweet Tomatoes?”

“No… Let me think.”

“Well, why don’t you finish getting ready. Put shoes on. How about Shari’s?”

“No… I don’t know what I want…”

“Well, the choices are going to keep getting worse. Denny’s? Or I’ll choose and we’ll just go.”

“UGH! I can’t decide!”

I headed to the van and CrafterKat and Critter joined a few minutes later. “I think she’s decided,” said CrafterKat, stepping inside.

Critter gave a small, light chuckle like a three year old. “Pho…”

I laughed. “The only problem is, I don’t know if that place is open this late in the evening.” We got onto the road, heading north to our preferred pho restaurant.

“If it’s not open,” said Critter, rocking in her seat a bit, “I would like… to go… to… Sweet Tomatoes.” I nodded. “No, wait!” she continued. “If it’s not open, I would like to go… to the other place I like… Can you handle Mexican?”

I shook my head. “It’s too late for Mexican food. That’s a good spot for lunch or early dinner.”

She rocked some more in her seat. “If it’s not open, I would like to go to… Thai Barbeque… No, wait! If it’s not open, I would like to go to Old Spaghetti Factory. No, wait! Ugh… I hate having my period!”

CrafterKat slowed to a stop light. “I hate that you’re a Libra.”

Oh, my. Oh, Miche!

So, my best friend, ScrapMaven, brought a new purse to a recent dim sum feast. A brilliant invention, the base cloth bag (black or brown) has magnets across the top on both sides. Special "shells" wrap around the bag and attach with the magnets. Her shell was a gorgeous nail-polish red.

I came home and drooled over the website for about two hours (http://www.michebag.com/). The bags and their oh-so-varied shells are NOT cheap. Then I went to eBay and drooled some more. Apparently, entreprenurial and crafty individuals are making fabric "wraps" for the shells, so you can have even MORE variety for your purse. Want a St. Patrick's Day design? $10 and shipping, and this lovely wrap can be yours. Easter bunny? No sweat.

Long straps are additional cost, but interchangeable because of the ingenious safety-pin like rings (sturdier metal than safety pins, of course).

I am NOT a purse-gal. The black leather purse I use has been my main bag for nearly two years, ever since I fell in love with its multiple pockets on a Disneyland trip. But I recently have made the effort to upgrade and update my wardrobe for work. Suddenly, my old standard just looked, well, old.

So, after scouring every outlet mall between here and the coast for a replacement purse, I found myself staring at the computer screen again, drooling over the eBay offerings. Cruising the internet, I found a separate site that was offering a Miche discount - one bag, four shells, and the long straps, for about 33% off the official Miche site.

My package arrived today. It took me about 5 minutes to move all of my stuff from one purse to the other. And another 5 minutes to take pictures of all four shells. Being the crafty kat that I am, you KNOW I will be creating wraps in the coming months.

This is SO girly-girl. I LOVE it!!

Can You Hear Me Now?

This weekend was full of mis (Miss?) communication.

Friday night I checked in with Critter and found her listening to her iPod stereo system and writing a note to a friend.

JewelGeek: Hey, I wanted to share a funny with you.

Critter: Yeah?

JewelGeek: So the other day CrafterKat was loading up songs onto her Zune and she said, "Who is this Vampire Weekend?" And I laughed and said that I knew them because of the song Oxford Comma * and Critter knows them because of A-Punk, which is a song that I like, too.

Critter: I know! I was so surprised that you knew who they were because you usually only know Old People. But you knew who they were and you totally earned a Point.

JewelGeek, beaming at her new status: I did? I got a Super Mom Point? What am I up to now?

Critter: Zero.

JewelGeek, shocked: What? But... but... I just earned a point!

Critter: Well, you were at minus one but now you're up to zero.

JewelGeek, still in shock, but happy that Critter knows her negative numbers: But... but... I thought I was ahead. How did I get to minus one?

Critter: Well, there was that thing you wrote on the blog that one time...? About snot? Like you said "Groovey" or something. Don't worry, I have confidence you'll be up to Five or so sooner or later.

JewelGeek, thinking hard: I know Bruises by Chairlift. I like that song.

Critter: I don't know what you're talking about.

JewelGeek, eyeing her iPod: Don't you have that song? (sings) "I got brusies on my knees for you, I got grass stains on my knees for you..."

Critter: I don't know what you're talking about... (jumps up and runs to the iPod system). Do you know this song?

JewelGeek, singing along: "Look at this photograph..." Nickelback.

Critter: Good job. One Point. Do you know this song? (plays another song).

JewelGeek, singing along: "If you were falling, then I would catch you. You need a light, I'd find a match." Ingrid... (pausing, so she doesn't get her name mixed up with the other Ingrid she knows...)

Critter: Michaelson. One more point. How about this one? (plays another song)

JewelGeek, listening... and listening.... and frowning...: Um... If I say I know it, do I get a Point?

Critter: No! You have to be truthful!


* Sorry, I could not locate the radio-censored version of this song!

* * * * * * * * *

Sunday night we visited a different Verizon store as we were still searching for the perfect phone. This store was far less crowded than the last and we were actually able to see and play with most models. At one point I texted CrafterKat from a phone: Nice keyboard but hard to find symbols. I giggled as I watched her retrieve the message; she was clearly wondering who was messaging her. From her model phone she texted: Boodle. Shut up.

Afterwards we got some food from Subway for Critter and headed back to the house.

JewelGeek: Can I have a Dorito?

Critter, handing over a chip: Sure.

JewelGeek: Thanks. Every once in awhile I like Doritos. Especially the Ranch ones.

Critter: I like Ranch corn nuts.

CrafterKat: Doh!

Critter: No, corn nuts.

CrafterKat: Donut!

Critter: Corn nut, CrafterKat!

CrafterKat: Donut!

Critter: Corn nut!

JewelGeek, who strongly dislikes corn nuts: Nasty!

* * * * * * * * *

Monday night I chatted with CrafterKat briefly to let her know that I was making dinner. I found an old message from her--it had "Boodle" in it--and stated: I will feed kid. ETA?

The phone beeped at me, signaling her response: Funny, this is a Verizon sample phone.

The lesson here is to erase messages that say "Boodle. Shut up."

Blockbuster Spirit

As I mentioned earlier, it's Spirit Week at work which means lots of fun artsy stuff on the walls (and ceilings... and floors...). This year the theme is blockbuster films. Each high school class gets a locker hallway to decorate and each there they surprise me at their talent. This year, I wanted to share their talent with you.

Harry Potter (Frosh Hall)

I particularly love the Hogwarts House shields and the very scary Dementors. Harry and Draco look like they might be participating in a Pokemon tournament.

Pirates of the Caribbean (Soph Hall)

The Sophomores were the most humorous of the bunch, I think, with quotes from the movie plastered all over the place. The pirate ships actually have cannons sticking out of them and they hung little cannonballs from the ceiling so it looked like it was firing on a ship across the hallway. The kraken actually has tentacles coming out of the ceiling. And the pirate by the Wenches bathroom is missing his rum.

Shrek (Junior Hall)

The Juniors must have a talented artist in their class. I loved the portraits of two of my favorite characters--Donkey and Puss In Boots.

The Lord of the Rings (Senior Hall)

Senior Hall usually has the most intricate displays--this year was no exception. There were swords hanging from the ceiling (even a properly created orc sword!), a glowing eye, and a lava spewing Mt. Doom. I was especially fond of the maps of Tolkien's world.

In Celebration of the Ox

Tiny ice pellets

Make clicking sound on the deck

Snow and ice mixing

Weird Charms

Saturday we had two items on our agenda: visit the Verizon store to look at cell phones and see the movie Inkheart. Critter will be moving to our wireless plan next month and to say that she is looking forward to a new phone is an understatement.

The Verizon store was packed and my claustrophobia set in immediately. I did my best to push it aside and browsed the twenty models that they had, figuring out that, really, none of them are good for my fat fingers. After thirty minutes trying in vain to write simple text messages, my thumbs froze up and refused to continue. We did find a few models that might work between the three of us but futher research is definitely warranted. I had too many people in the store tell me that they had the model I was currently handling and they hated it. Critter texted her friends and they would report the same about a different model. It seems everybody hates something about their existing phone.

We gave up and drove across the street to the mall and bought our tickets for the movie. The mall has been remodeled and has a new 20-screen theater as well as several new restaurants. CrafterKat left us in the food court to buy some sushi.


Critter, fingering the dangling beaded charm on her existing phone: Omigosh! I forgot to see if the [Verizon] enV phone had a place to hang charms from!

Me, straight-faced: Hmmmm. Well, you might have to keep your existing phone then.

Critter, shocked: NO! No. Nooooo. No. (pause) No. Noooooowah. (pause). No. And....No.


Inkheart was a fabulous movie and perfect for a lazy afternoon. When we finished, I bought Critter some pizza while CrafterKat visited the ATM. She had a huge slice of pizza which took two hands to manage.


Me: You know, I thought you wouldn't want pizza since you ate that all the time while the school cafeteria was being remodeled.

Critter: I always like pizza.

Me, trying to impart something educational into our dining experience: You know, in New York, people eat their pizza by folding it in half so they can eat it with one hand.

Critter, taking another bite: Well, at school, I would eat the pizza with a knife and fork. And then the kids would call me weird. And then I tried folding it in half. And the kids would call me weird. And then I would eat the toppings off of the pizza first and then eat the crust. And the kids would call me weird. So then I would eat it with both hands like them. And then I told them that that way was weird.

Me: Well, I'm glad you like the pizza.

Critter, taking another bite: I like eating pizza because it makes my nose scrunch up real cute when I eat it.


I had to laugh. It was really cute.

Winter Spirit

One of the benefits to having an office located in a school is that you get to be around all the student decorations and art work. Winter is one of my favorite times because we get the yearly Hall of Presidents at the elementary school and Spirit Week at the high school. The last week of January, each school class chooses a theme and decorates their hallway lockers accordingly. We've had music halls dedicated the 60, 70s, 80s, and 90s, and lots of blockbuster movies. Voting doesn't begin until next week but I thought I'd share some of the brilliance of years past.

The Fantastic Four (Year of the Superhero)

The X-Men

The Wizard of Oz (Year of Books)

Next weeks themes revolve around blockbuster movies. I hope to have pictures next week.

A Box Without Hinges, Key or Lid, Yet Golden Treasure Inside is Hid

For a couple of days now, JewelGeek’s boss, EvilPXE, has been regaling her with the intricate details of one of life’s biggest mysteries… how to properly boil eggs. Seriously. Apparently there is great magic in the process. When done well, the hard boiled egg will peel easily, rendering its succulent egginess eagerly to the awaiting connoisseur.

He shared his expertise whenever he started peeling a new egg. After 45 minutes, JewelGeek asked how many eggs he had.
EvilPXE: I have six. I eat three at a time.

And on the next day…
EvilPXE: See, this one has just a little bit of moisture on the inside of the egg and that just makes the difference.

JewelGeek doesn’t even like eggs. They make her gag. I’m pretty sure these last couple of days rank right up there with root canal for her…

A quick search on Yahoo turned up several thousands of pages on hard boiled eggs, recipes, and "how tos." I especially liked some of the photos. One came with a warning: "Do not touch the boiling water." Priceless.

This is my favorite. So, this is for you, JewelGeek, for quietly suffering the boiled egg soapbox. It's called "Egg Chase." Love ya'.

Where's The Beef?

For New Years, my mother, the Social Butterfly, came up to the Rose City to do Christmas with us. She recently got a new computer, though, and discovered that her old printer didn't work with Vista; I took her out to find a new one. As we approached the mall, I pointed out different stores in the area.

JewelGeek: Have you been to the mall since they put in the new stores?

Social Butterfly: No, I try to avoid any mall at Christmas time. But I do want to go to the grub steak place.

JewelGeek: Um... Which restaurant?

Social Butterfly: Grub steak! I want to eat there sometime!

JewelGeek, with visions of grubs and steaks in her head: Um... I don't understand...

Social Butterfly, getting more animated: Grub steak! Grub steak! You said that you and CrafterKat went there and they had really large portions!

JewelGeek: Claim Jumper?

Social Butterfly: Grub Stake. Claim Jumper. Whatever.

On The Twelfth Day Of Christmas

...we got more snow.

Or at least it seemed that way. As Inigo Montoya said, "There is too much. Let me sum up." CrafterKat and I braved the snow for snacks at Trader Joes. We then stocked up for the winter storm the weekend before Christmas. We made $100 chili. Eventually. The power went out. And then we got stuck in the snow. Critter tried to meet up with her friends, to no avail.

By Monday, after several hours of digging out driveways, we measured and had well over a foot of snow in the yard. Attempts to drive out in the Mazda were entertaining at best. One short trip to Fred Meyers had us completing a 180 spin into the oncoming traffic. We made it home with only slightly upset stomachs--the roads were so rutted with snow and ice it was like riding an old wooden roller coaster with very little padding on the seats.

Tuesday, Mr. GoGoGo, LaLa, and the Queen Matriarch arrived. And got stuck in the same spot on the driveway we did. A couple of good pushes and they were able to pull in to our garage. We spent Tuesday and Wednesday shoveling more snow out from the driveway and listening to branches crack under the weight of the snow.

The Renaissance Man, Golden Poet, and their two boys came over for dinner. In honor of the Jedi Racoon's tenth birthday, we had Dominos pizza and played Apples To Apples. One of the funniest exchanges occurred when the Jedi Raccoon was judging. He had the word "cuddly" and wasn't sure who/what were on the other cards. It was his job to choose which of the other cards played was closest to "cuddly".

Jedi Raccoon: Well, what's Flipper?

Renaissance Man: Well, he was a famous dolphin or porpoise.

Jedi Raccoon: How are dolphins cuddly?

Renaissance Man: Well, he was a big TV star a long time ago. I used to watch that show and Big Ben when I was a kid.

Golden Poet: Really? Big Ben? In London?

JewelGeek: Gong! Gong! What's that Big Ben? You say little Timmy has fallen down the well?

Flipper didn't make the cut...

For Santa's visit, I made CrafterKat's new favorite cookie--Chocolate Peppermint Crisps. The big man liked them. So did everyone else!

Chocolate Peppermint Crisps

1 c. butter-flavored shortening (I used Crisco's new butter shortening)

1/2 c. sugar

1/2 c. brown sugar

2 eggs

1 pkg (12 oz.) of York Peppermint Patties

1 t. vanilla

2 - 1/3 c. flour

1 t. soda

1/2 t. salt

On low heat, melt the peppermint patties. Stir occasionally. It will be a gooey mess! If you made $100 chili, use one of your new non-stick skillets!

Cream together the shortening and sugars. Add the the eggs, soda, and salt. Sift the flour and add it to mixture. Add the melted peppermint patties until well-combined. The dough should be rather buttery and will stick together well. Put the dough in the fridge for at least 30 minutes.

Heat oven to 375 degrees. Roll dough into one inch balls and place on cookie sheet. Bake 8-10 minutes. Cookies will spread and be quite thin. Remove them from the sheet when they are still a bit bendy--they will crisp up in the next five minutes. If you like chewy cookies (like me!), eat them right after they get out of the oven; otherwise they will remain crispy and are good dunked in coffee or milk.

We considered having Christmas dinner on our deck but in the end we begged a ride from the Renaissance Man who was able to maneuver the side streets much better than we were in the old Mazda. We had a lovely Christmas dinner complete with pie and too much laughter.

Saturday after Christmas enough snow had melted that we were able to assess the damage. Tree limbs were down in several yards or were bent back at impossible angles.

We discovered that a light had been left on in the Tink Tank--our mini van's battery was dead. The car tent it was housed in had collapsed under the weight of snow and ice, denting the mini van's hood.

It's now New Year's... We figure we had at least thirteen inches of snow and ice Christmas week.

Winter Break is over and school is supposed to start on Monday. I hope it does... We've got another inch of snow on the ground this evening...

With all the running back and forth, not knowing if the snow will stop or get worse, it's been a bit like The Coats' version of the Twelve Days of Christmas. Enjoy!

Editors Note - 1-5-09: We really enjoy The Coats and the video below doesn't quite do them justice. If you have a chance, visit their site and listen to some of their Christmas songs (30 sec. snippets).

Critter just stopped by to watch the rest of The Coats video and said, "What? You didn't do Straight No Chaser's version?" I've added that video clip, too.

There’s One Born Every Minute

After our brief respite at the hotel, we dug out the car in the parking lot (another 4 inches) and made our way back home. We got 20 feet from the garage door before one of the tire chains spun off. Despite the earnest assistance of Critter and JewelGeek, I admitted defeat and called Renaissance Man to rescue me. With his experience, it took about 15 minutes to put on the errant chain and drive in to the garage.

So now it is Tuesday. Mr. GoGoGo and Lala are braving the roads and coming up from Eugene (finally) for Christmas. I promised them I’d dig a better path in the driveway for them. When I got out there, I found this.


Our neighbors, for whatever reason, decided to try and drive out last evening, and got stopped by the 18+ inches of snow and ice in the driveway. Oh, and they don’t have chains on the car. Nevermind that chains are required on all streets in the area. I’ve dug all around the car, and sprinkled sand. Will finish digging up to the street after a quick break. Then I’m going to call my brother to come help, and go wake up the neighbors to get the blockade cleared out.

I swear, snow brings out the idiots.

$100 Chili Pow(d)er

"What are you doing up?"

CrafterKat caught me tearing open the remaining grocery bags at 3 a.m. I had just found the Winco receipt and flashed it at her. "I didn't buy the red beans for chili. I'm pretty sure the bag fell out of the cart before I reached the cashier."

"It's okay. I have some other errands. We'll go in the morning before the storm really hits."

The snow continued to fall Friday night; Saturday we woke at 7:00 a.m. and ventured out to get some final items. Fred's had a bag of red beans, Lowe's had the Styrofoam faucet covers but no Christmas lights, and K-Mart had...well, all the things we forgot at the other stores.

"Wait... I need to make Santa cookies... I don't think we have enough flour." I bought one of five bags of K-Mart flour.

"Wait," said CrafterKat, "I want to make s'mores." I picked up The Bag of Marshmallows. And a box of graham crackers.

We made it home by lunch and settled down for a long snowfall. I made $100 chili.

$100 Chili

Ingredients:

2-3 cups dry red beans

2-5 slices of bacon, diced

1 onion, diced

1 lb. ground beef

1 can tomatoes, diced

1/4 to 1/2 t. of cayenne pepper (how spicy do you want it?)

1/2 to 1 t. of chili powder (you choose the spicy level!)

Salt and pepper to taste

Optional: A new $100 pot and pan set

Prep: Rinse the dry beans in a colander and set to soak in a large pot with about two inches of water. Let the beans soak for 2 to 3 hours. Drain the water from the beans, then add fresh water. This gets rid of some of the starch from the beans.

Put the beans (with fresh water) on to boil. Then reduce heat to low.

In a pan, brown the diced bacon (I used four slices--yummy!). Use a slotted spoon and scoop out the bacon; add it to the bean pot.

With the remaining bacon grease, brown the diced onion. Use a slotted spoon to scoop out the onion bits; add it to the bean pot.

Brown the hamburger in the last of the bacon grease, drain it, and add to the bean pot.

Add the can of tomatoes, the cayenne pepper, chili powder and salt and pepper. Cook the chili for 1 to 2 hours or until you are too hungry to wait any longer!

Saturday and Sunday we kept tabs on how deep the snow was getting. Four inches, six inches... It was soon over a foot on our back deck.

I called my mother Sunday afternoon to fill her in. Yes, we are still alive. Yes, I made chili. No, I don't think I'll go in to work tomorrow. Yes, we have plenty of groceries. No, I don't think we'll have garbage service. Yes--

And then the power went out.

After a half hour, the power did not return. PGE reported that there were several thousand customers without power and they had no idea of when service would resume.

We bundled up and hopped in the old Mazda and drove 5-10 mph down to the Shari's restaurant for a warm meal. When we returned, the power was still out. A call to PGE told us that "power has been restored at 5:44 p.m."

Since this was obviously not the case we called around and found a hotel along the river that was open and, more importantly, still had power. "And if the power goes out," the manager said, "we've got lots of blankets, flashlights and glow sticks. I'll be here all night with our staff--we'll probably have a party in the lobby."

CrafterKat began packing suitcases while I reserved the room. As we maneuvered through the icy roads, we passed a downed power line a block from our home. An hour later we had parked in the hotel's snow-filled lot and found our room. Thirty minutes later, CrafterKat and Critter were soaking in the hot tub.

Chili Weekend

We've had snow off and on (mostly on) for a week now. Monday was especially chilly when we woke--our heating system was on the fritz. CrafterKat had been up since 5:30 and the house seemed to get colder by minute. She woke me at 7:00--the house was 59 degrees.

The pilot light seemed to be working but the clear water condensate tube that ran from the heating unit along the wall and to the outside was clogged up--it had frozen solid outside the house. CrafterKat got an extension cord and her little heat gun--a mini hairdryer used for embossing--and warmed up the tube until the water started flowing again. The house finally got up to temperature around 10:00 a.m.

When I woke on Friday there was a note from CrafterKat asking me to head to the grocery store. "We're expecting near blizzard conditions," she wrote. Time to make grocery lists, figure out advanced food cravings, and stock up.

The snow had turned to slush by the time Critter and I hit the road at lunch time. Winco was packed--Critter and I methodically went through the list, loading the grocery cart with crackers, cheese, soups, cereal, bulk red beans for chili, bacon, chicken, yogurt... The cart was so full we could barely push it to the checkout line.

CrafterKat got home a few hours later. I spent the afternoon cooking the last of our Craft Party cookies. "Let's go get some dinner before we're snowed in," CrafterKat suggested. We took a bag of cookies to her brother's house on our way. Instead of pizza (our original plan) we joined them for dinner at Busters and caught up on the news. The Golden Poet shared her cookie baking stories--green Grinch cookies!--and The Renaissance Man shared his adventure cleaning out the dryer vent. The boys shared various tales of how bored they were; Critter agreed.

After dinner we dropped Critter back at the house and went out again for some final shopping, dodging snow flakes right and left. I explained to CrafterKat that I intended to make my Mom's chili for lunch on Saturday, pulled pork sandwiches in the slow cooker for Monday when her parents arrived for Christmas, and lasagna somewhere in between. CrafterKat frowned slightly. "You're not planning on making chili in one of my good pots are you?"

We have only two large pots. Large and EXTRA HUMONGOUS LARGE, purchased at one of those fancy cooking stores at the outlet mall. "Fine. Let's go to Linens and Things after we go to [store redacted in case my mother is reading this]. They're going out of business so we can probably find something there for cheap."

CrafterKat stayed in the car while I scouted the store. I found one pot with a strainer, took a pic of it with my cell phone, and sent it to her. She texted back: I come in. We poked around some more and decided upon a pot and pan set, marked down to $100.

"You know," I chuckled, "this will be like the Evil PXE's bread maker. He had a $100 bread maker which they never used. Six months later he was handing out $30 loaves of bread because he had used it so few times."

CrafterKat chuckled. "One hundred dollar chili!"

We made one final stop at Trader Joe's and called it a night. The snow was starting to fall pretty steadily by now and we were happy to be home.

At 3:00 a.m. I woke up with a start. I did not recall paying for the bag of red chili beans; they'd fallen out of the cart before I reached the cashier.

Wassup?

With the snow and uncertain road conditions, Critter has been out of school for a full week. It's now Christmas Break, there's more snow and ice is expected in the coming days. She hasn't seen her school friends for several long days. To say that she is bored is quite an understatement.

She's been playing telephone tag with a girlfriend up the street and after the third phone call I asked, "What's up?"

Straight-faced, she answered, "The air, the paint, the plaster, the wood, whatever comes after the wood."

The Land of Last Minute

I LOVE the holidays. All of the decorations, the lights, the shopping, the baking, the music, the crowds (yes, even the crowds). This is really MY time of year. I could live in it.

This year, I’ve been working so hard, I haven’t had much time for shopping or crafting. And this last week, the weather played roulette with the roads, making small windows of opportunity for shopping, which usually occurred while I was at work.

Today, it is supposed to snow all day (2-4 inches of accumulation), and turn to freezing rain tonight. Yikes. So if there is any shopping to be done, we have to go this morning. There is already some snow on the ground – we’ll be taking the Mazda which is already chained up for this weather, but which is missing the ability to defrost. (Give it a break; it is over 20 years old…)

And what is on the Last Minute List?

• Dried red beans for chili
• Stocking stuffers
• Something for my grandmother for Christmas
• Something for me for Christmas (and yes, I usually get my own gifts and wrap them…)
• And I wouldn’t mind a really great movie to watch, since we’re going to be inside most of the weekend. But I can’t think of what that would be.

When we get home, I have to clean up our guest rooms. We used one room for the “kids” craft center at our annual craft party. And we’ve been using the other room as Wrapping Central. With my folks and grandma coming up on Monday (weather permitting), I need to make a place for them to stay.

Nothing like waiting until the last minute to do everything. Sheesh.

Recipe for Disaster?

CrafterKat and I enjoy shopping at Trader Joes but we do not have a store close to our home. If we are traveling close to the store for another errand, we inevitably stop in and get munchies. I love the ginger cookies; CrafterKat likes some of the chocolate things. And we always seem to get a bag of pot stickers or other frozen quick dinner item.

This fall, as we drove to Home Depot, we passed the old CompUSA store. It no longer looked desolate. It looked Trader Joesie. The store hadn't opened yet--just a coming soon banner--but we immediately called CrafterKat's parents (who are lucky enough to have a store a mile from their home) to tell them the news. For the next several weeks, whenever we were in the area, we drove by hoping it would be open.

Braving the snow today, on another "get this before the blizzard gets us" errand, we drove by and saw the lights on. CrafterKat and I were like kids on Christmas morning, browsing the shelves looking for munchies. We took our small horde to the cashier, grins on our faces.

The cashier looked over our pile. "BBQ sauce. Water. Bag of prunes. Chocolate.... I give up. What are you making?"

I pulled out my wallet and smiled. "BBQ for pulled pork sandwiches tomorrow. Water bottle for the ride home. Prunes for... Regularity?"

And then there were eight...

Tomorrow is our annual Craft Party and I've been baking cookies for most of the day. I have to say, this is probably the cutest cookie I've ever made. I have only eight and intend on giving them to the handful of kids I know are coming.

The cookie dough recipe comes from one of my favorite cookie books (I really have only two) and is intended as an alternative to gingerbread dough. Teachers use this not-so-spicy recipe after reading The Gingerbread Man to their students. But I used it to make other little guys...

Butterscotch Bears

1/2 c. butter or margarine, softened
1/2 c. brown sugar, packed
3.4 oz pkg. regular butterscotch pudding mix
1 egg
1 1/2 c. flour
1/2 t. baking soda
1 1/2 t. ground ginger
1/2 t. cinnamon
Handful of mini chocolate chips for decorating

Sift together the flour, soda, ginger and cinnamon and set aside. In a mixing bowl cream butter, brown sugar and dry pudding mix. Add egg and beat well. Add the flour and spices to the creamed mixture. Chill the dough for about an hour.

To make butterscotch bears, roll dough into the following sizes:

8 balls, 2 inches in diameter, for the body
8 balls, 1 inch in diameter, for the head
32 balls, 1/2 inch in diameter, for the arms and legs
16 balls, 3/8 inch in diameter, for the ears
8 balls, 1/4 inch in diameter, for the bear snout

Squish two ears to each head and flatten to about 1/2 inch. Add the ball for the body and flatten. Add arms and legs to the sides, and the snout to the face.

Warning: If the bear looks more like a pig at this point, don't panic.

Bake the cookies at 350 degrees for about 10 minutes. The bears will be slightly doughy when they come out. Quickly add the mini chocolate chips for eyes, nose, and buttons. Leave the bears on the baking sheet for a few more minutes to harden.

Makes 8 Butterscotch Bears

I would have made a double-batch of these--they are adorable--but I would have wanted Critter Help for it. She's on the tech crew for the high school production of Our Town, though, and was gone all day today for tech rehearsal. And when she came home, she wasn't quite dressed for baking. Tonight is Winter Formal.